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Band 4+: The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighbourhood since 1920.

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Image for topic: The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighbourhood since 1920.

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The image displays two maps of the Sawry District, one from 1920 and one from 2020. The 1920 map features a cannery by the Elmwood River, a beach, Prestwich Primary School, Miller's Lake, Oak Avenue, apartments, houses, and shops symbolized by respective icons. The 2020 map shows the Yang Office Complex, Elmwood River with a bridge and bike path, Oak Avenue, a petrol station, Miller's Lake, and Prestwich Primary school with modernized icons.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The maps illustarste transformations in the Sawry District neighbourhood between 1920 and 2020.

Overall, there were significant shanges in the Sawry District neighbourhood regarding to buildings and educational opportunities. By 2020 Sawry District become more modernized and urban area.

At first, in 1920 on the weastern side there was Tulebug bros, Cannery which was demolished and became a Yang Office Complex by 2020. The Prestwhich Primary School on southwaestern side turned into Lonoco Petrol Station. Some houses in the northeastern side removed and on southeastern side , including OAK avenue added new apartments. In OAK Avenue constructed many buildings such as two shops and apartments , the houses relocated to the southeastern side. There were greenland in 1920, but by 2020 many trees were cutted down then there constructed Prestwhich Primary school. Miller’s and Elmwood lake unchanged during the period.

Word Count: 140

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 4

sawry: 3

district: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The description of changes is not always clear or accurate, and there are some issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on providing a more accurate and detailed description of the changes, and ensure that your grammar and vocabulary are accurate. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could help guide the reader through the changes. Paragraphing could be more effective by grouping related changes together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice ('shanges' instead of 'changes,' 'cutted down' instead of 'cut down'). To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary to describe the changes observed in the maps. For example, instead of 'removed,' consider using 'replaced,' 'demolished,' or 'converted,' depending on the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('become' instead of 'became'), incorrect prepositions ('regarding to' instead of 'regarding'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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