Line Graph

Band 7+: The following charts below shows admission averages for students in several programs at different points in history. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The following charts below shows admission averages for students in several programs at different points in history. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image displays a line graph showing admission averages of successful applicants (in percentage) across different decades and programs. In the 1970s, Arts is approximately 70%, Science 80%, Music 60%; in the 1980s, Arts 75%, Science about 84%, Music approximately 90%; in the 1990s, Arts roughly 72%, Science 85%, Music roughly 75%; in the 2000s, Arts roughly 72%, Science 87%, Music approximately 90%; in the 2010s, Arts 80%, Science 90%, Music approximately 85%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph illustrates the average proportion of successful applicants in different majors, namely arts, science, and music, from 1970 to 2010.

Overall, it is evident that figure, representing students from music major, shows considerable fluctuations, while for science students, it steadily rose and surpassed other figures at the end of the period. In addition, despite the initial decline, the percentage of art applicants moderately increased over the period of 40 years.

With regards to the percentage of students who applied to music major, it began at 60% and then dramatically rocketed at 90% in 1980 before sharply falling to around 75% within 10 years. This figure, after reaching its peak again at 90% in 2000, steeply decreased at approximately 65% at the end of the period.

Regarding the proportion of science and art students, their figures started at 75% and 70% respectively. The figure of science applicants demonstrates gradual growth and hit the highest point at 90% in 2000, whereas the percentage of art students hit the lowest point at above 65% in 1980, before climbing at 70% after 10 years. The number of science applicants remained stable for 10 years till the end of the period, as opposed to art applicants, whose percentage considerably increased at 80% in 2010, after flattening out at 70% from 1990 to 2000.

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

applicants: 5

science: 5

students: 5

percentage: 4

music: 3

figure: 3

period: 3

years: 3

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the three programs. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the general movement of the data. The body paragraphs are well-organized, grouping the information logically. To improve, ensure that the descriptions of data changes use more precise prepositions (e.g., 'increased to 80%' instead of 'increased at 80%') and be careful with minor data discrepancies, such as the final value for Music, to ensure complete accuracy in reporting trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'With regards to', 'Regarding', 'whereas') helps guide the reader through the comparisons. However, some transitions could be smoother to avoid a slightly repetitive structure. To improve, try to vary the way you introduce new information and ensure that the relationship between different trends is more fluidly integrated.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'considerable fluctuations', 'steadily rose', and 'flattening out'. However, there are some issues with preposition usage following verbs of change (e.g., 'rocketed at 90%' should be 'rocketed to 90%', and 'decreased at approximately 65%' should be 'decreased to approximately 65%'). Additionally, be careful with word choice; 'dramatically rocketed' is slightly redundant as 'rocket' already implies a dramatic change. Aim for more precise prepositional control to reach higher bands.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent errors regarding prepositions of movement and result (using 'at' instead of 'to' when describing a destination value). There are also minor issues with article usage and noun-number agreement (e.g., 'music major' should be 'the music major' or 'music majors'). Improving the accuracy of these small grammatical details, particularly prepositions, will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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