Pie Chart

Band 7+: The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

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Image for topic: The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

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The image contains two pie charts representing leisure activities percentages for 1999 and 2009. For 1999: soccer 17%, camping 8%, swimming 13%, aerobics 29%, walking 9%, jogging 5%, bicycling 7%, yoga 12%. For 2009: soccer 18%, camping 3%, swimming 18%, aerobics 31%, walking 9%, jogging 4%, bicycling 7%, weightlifting 10%.

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The pie charts illustrate the changes in popularity of various leisure activities among the population in USA over a decade, in 1999 and 2009.

Overall, it is evident that out the eight activities, only yoga, which had a popularity of 5% in 1999 was entirely replaced by weightlifting with a popularity of 10% in 2009, while others faced only some variation.

Walking continued to dominate with 29% in 1999 and 31% in 2009. Soccer, camping and swimming saw a upward trend in popularity over the decade. Soccer saw an increase from 17% in 1999 to 18% in 2009. Camping too saw a minor boost in trend from 8% in 1999 to 9% in 2009. Swimming was the activity that saw the most staggering improvement in popularity from 9% in 1999 to 18% in 2009.

Conversely, several activities lost popularity in the ten-year period. Aerobics saw the steepest fall from its 13% popularity in 1999 to a mere 4% in 2009. Bicycling saw a collapse in its popularity from 12% at the start to 7% at the end of the decade. Jogging too witnessed a fall in popularity in ten-year period starting from 7% to 3%.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

popularity: 9

activities: 3

decade: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and changes in leisure activities between 1999 and 2009. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data, such as misstating the percentages for walking, aerobics, swimming, bicycling, and jogging. The report also incorrectly states that yoga was replaced by weightlifting, while the data shows yoga at 12% in 1999 and weightlifting at 10% in 2009, with no mention of yoga in 2009. Additionally, the report omits some activities like yoga and weightlifting in the description. To improve, ensure that the data is accurately reported and that all key features are covered. Focus on presenting the information clearly without introducing errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall statement and logical grouping of activities that increased and decreased in popularity. However, there are some minor lapses in coherence. For example, the statement 'Walking continued to dominate with 29% in 1999 and 31% in 2009' is factually inconsistent with the data (walking is 9% in both years, not 29% and 31%), which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the paragraphing could be improved by more clearly separating the discussion of increases and decreases. To enhance coherence, ensure that data references are accurate and consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with effective use of terms like 'staggering improvement', 'steepest fall', and 'collapse in popularity'. However, there are some inaccuracies and overstatements. For instance, 'saw a upward trend' should be 'saw an upward trend', and 'saw a minor boost in trend' is slightly awkward. The phrase 'saw a collapse in its popularity' is a bit dramatic for a change from 12% to 7%. To improve lexical resource, aim for more precise and natural collocations, and avoid exaggerations that may not match the data. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and generally maintains good grammatical control. However, there are a few errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'out the eight activities' should be 'out of the eight activities', and 'saw a upward trend' should be 'saw an upward trend'. The phrase 'in ten-year period' is missing an article ('in the ten-year period'). Punctuation is mostly correct. To achieve a higher score, pay closer attention to article usage and preposition accuracy.

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