Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph below compar the average weeklyb earnigs of male and female graduates and non-graduates

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The image shows average weekly earnings for various age groups of men and women graduates and non-graduates. Men: 16-19 graduates 200, non-graduates 100; 20-24 graduates 300, non-graduates 250; 25-29 graduates 450, non-graduates 400; 30-39 graduates 600, non-graduates 500; 40-49 graduates 650, non-graduates 550; 50-59 graduates 650, non-graduates 500; 60+ graduates 500, non-graduates 450. Women: 16-19 graduates 200, non-graduates 100; 20-24 graduates 250, non-graduates 200; 25-29 graduates 350, non-graduates 300; 30-39 graduates 400, non-graduates 350; 40-49 graduates 450, non-graduates 400; 50-59 graduates 450, non-graduates 350; 60+ graduates 350, non-graduates 300.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar charts illustrate the average weekly earning in men and women graduates and non-graduates groups, which are demonstrated at different ages.

Overall, the values of graduates have the highest number in every group, where it locates. The contribution of men has the highest position compared to women’s parts. The 16-19 group has no values of graduates.

Looking more closely at the men’s part of the bar chart, in the case of graduates, it shows an upward trend and has reached a peak above 700 pounds in the 50-59 group. The contribution of non-graduates also demonstrates an increase, but less than the previous and have reached a peak below 600 pounds in the 40-49 group.

The impact of women has not common tendencies with the men. Apparently, the contribution of graduates has the highest positions approximately 400 pounds, but fluctuation in the groups exists. The peak locates in the 25-29, the second most is the 40-49. Additionally, the values of non-graduates also have the second peak in the same group.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

group: 4

non-graduates: 3

values: 3

highest: 3

contribution: 3

pounds: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and differences in the data, providing a reasonable overview of the average weekly earnings for men and women, graduates and non-graduates across different age groups. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that could be improved. For example, the report states that the 16-19 group has no values for graduates, which is incorrect according to the provided data. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately represented and consider including specific figures to support your descriptions of trends and peaks.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction is adequate, but the overview could be more comprehensive and clearly identify the main trends. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are sometimes abrupt, hindering the overall coherence. Paragraphing could be improved to group related ideas more effectively. For example, the third sentence in the introduction is unclear. Try to use more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'values' is used repeatedly and could be replaced with more specific terms like 'earnings' or 'income'. The phrase 'contribution of men' is also somewhat awkward. Expanding your vocabulary and using more varied language would enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'earning in men and women graduates and non-graduates groups' should be 'earnings for men and women graduates and non-graduates'. The sentence 'The 16-19 group has no values of graduates' is also grammatically incorrect and factually inaccurate based on the visual. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules to enhance the accuracy and clarity of your writing.

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