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Band 6+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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The image displays a line graph detailing percentages of Australian residents by birthplace across five time points (1976, 1981, 1986, 1991, 1996, 2001, 2006, 2011); total percentages are 23% (1976), 22% (1986), 20% (2001), and 25% (2011); UK-born show 14% (1976), 12% (1981), roughly 10% (1986), 8% (1996), 7% (2001), and about 5% (2011); Asia-born remain steady at 3% (1976), increase slightly above 5% (1991), then rise to around 15% (2011); other regions start slightly less than 5% (1976), reaching above 10% (1996) and maintaining slightly less than 15% (2011).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided graph illustrates information about the proportion of people living in Australia who were born in various regions.

Overall, the UK and others countries started with approximately 13%, while Asia began with around 3%. The most noticeable feature was the total amout of regions with the highest percentages of people who lives in Australia.

Asia steadly rose from around 3% in 1976 to 6% in 1996 and continued to climb pass the UK percentages in between 1996 and 2001 and got the highest percentage. The Uk had a great downfall starting with the highest proportion with 14% and gradually declined years by years and reached the lowest proportion with 5% in 2011.

Other regions had a dramatic up and down, started around 11% in 1976 and slowly declined around 7% in 1986. But then it rocked to a really high proportion with 14% but dropped a bit by 2011 to 13%. The total amount of people who live in australia had the highest percentage from the start and the end.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 4

around: 4

highest: 4

people: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main trends and features of the graph, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting the data and include more specific details to support your statements. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but there are instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, which can make it slightly challenging for the reader to follow the analysis. For example, the shift from the overall trends to specific data points could be more clearly signposted. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a more coherent narrative.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to describing trends and proportions, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., "great downfall," "dramatic up and down"). Try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary to describe changes and comparisons. For instance, instead of "dramatic up and down," you could use "fluctuated significantly" or "exhibited considerable volatility."

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors such as subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing are present. While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they do detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct grammatical mistakes. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your writing is clear and concise.

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