Line Graph

Band 6+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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The image displays a line graph detailing percentages of Australian residents by birthplace across five time points (1976, 1981, 1986, 1991, 1996, 2001, 2006, 2011); total percentages are 23% (1976), 22% (1986), 20% (2001), and 25% (2011); UK-born show 14% (1976), 12% (1981), roughly 10% (1986), 8% (1996), 7% (2001), and about 5% (2011); Asia-born remain steady at 3% (1976), increase slightly above 5% (1991), then rise to around 15% (2011); other regions start slightly less than 5% (1976), reaching above 10% (1996) and maintaining slightly less than 15% (2011).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph displays the share of people from different countries and contients who currently live in Australia. Which includes UK, Asia and Other countries. At the top it shows the total percetage of people from all categories who lived in Australia.

Overall, Asia had a significant growth over the period of time given below, and overtaking UK and other countries in percentages of people. In contrast, UK showed a sharp decrease during the whole time loosing its domination and getting to the last place, while category “other”‘s rate fluctuated but remained at the same place at the end of the period.

Firstly, the most significant trends experienced UK and Asia. In 1976, UK was dominating with just under 15% of British individuals living in Australia. Meanwhile only about 2 percent of Asian people lived in there. In 1998, they showed the same results by around 7% of individuals living in Australia from both places. Secondly, share of people from other countries was just over 10% at first. Then it reached its peak up to 15% of individuls who lived in Australia. After that, it had a slight drop by about 2% in 2011. Total number of people reamined stable, except in 2001, its percetage decreased slightly by 3%. However, later it recovered to its initial level.

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

countries: 4

australia: 4

other: 3

lived: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview of the trends in the graph. The overall trends are identified, and some specific data points are mentioned. To improve, include more specific data and avoid inaccuracies. For example, the report mentions 'In 1998, they showed the same results by around 7% of individuals living in Australia from both places' when the graph does not include data for 1998. Also, the 'other' category does not start at just over 10%.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but there are some issues with flow and clarity. The introduction could be more concise and clearly state the purpose of the graph. The body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that introduce the main point of each paragraph. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall coherence. For example, the shift from the overall trends to the specific details in the 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' paragraphs feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical flow of the report.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'people,' consider using synonyms like 'residents,' 'immigrants,' or 'individuals' where appropriate. The phrase 'significant growth' is acceptable, but you could use more descriptive alternatives like 'substantial increase' or 'remarkable rise.' Also, be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'percentage' instead of 'percetage'). Expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language will improve the overall quality of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair understanding of grammar, but there are several errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('lived' vs. 'live'), subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect preposition usage. For example, 'In 1998, they showed the same results' is unclear and grammatically awkward. Pay close attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and easy to understand. Proofreading carefully for errors in grammar and punctuation is essential to improve the overall quality of your writing.

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