Line Graph

Band 5+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions.

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The image displays a line graph detailing percentages of Australian residents by birthplace across five time points (1976, 1981, 1986, 1991, 1996, 2001, 2006, 2011); total percentages are 23% (1976), 22% (1986), 20% (2001), and 25% (2011); UK-born show 14% (1976), 12% (1981), roughly 10% (1986), 8% (1996), 7% (2001), and about 5% (2011); Asia-born remain steady at 3% (1976), increase slightly above 5% (1991), then rise to around 15% (2011); other regions start slightly less than 5% (1976), reaching above 10% (1996) and maintaining slightly less than 15% (2011).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions between 1976 and 2011.

In overall, it is clear that the percentage of the population living in Australia who were born in Asia is the highest whereas the lowest proportion belongs to the individuals who were from the UK.

Firstly, the Asia reached a peak around 6 percent from 1976 and 1996 and had significant growth almost 6 to 11 percent at the end of the 2006. The figure also recorced a substantial surge to 15 in 2011. To contrast with other regions, a gradual increase was observed throughout the period.

Secondly, there was a noticeable decline in the UK during the period. The trend decreased from nearly 14 to 10 between 1976 and 1986 and the figure remained virtually unchanged in 1986. In addition, the percentage of the UK plummeted sharply from 1986 to at the end of the period.

To summarize, there was a considerable fall in the UK while there was a significant rise in the Asia in the given period.

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies the main trends, such as the increase in the Asian-born population and the decrease in the UK-born population. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. For instance, the overview claims the Asian-born population is the highest, but the data provided in the description shows it only reaches the highest point at the very end of the period, whereas the UK was higher for much of the timeline. Additionally, some descriptions of the data are confusing (e.g., describing a 'peak' for Asia between 1976 and 1996 when the trend was actually an upward trajectory). To improve, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the overall trend throughout the entire period and double-check that the numerical data cited matches the trends described.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'To summarize' is somewhat mechanical. Additionally, the overview contains a factual inaccuracy regarding which group was the highest (based on the provided description, the 'other regions' or 'total' might be higher, but the student claims Asia was the highest throughout). To improve, focus on logical transitions between sentences and ensure that the overview accurately reflects the overall trends shown in the graph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. While there are attempts to use varied terms like 'plummeted', 'substantial surge', and 'noticeable decline', there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'the Asia', 'recorced', 'the UK' used to refer to people). Avoid using 'the' before names of continents or most countries. Try to use a wider range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure they are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the Asia', 'the UK' when referring to people), preposition errors ('from 1976 and 1996' instead of 'between'), and spelling mistakes ('recorced'). Sentence structures are somewhat repetitive. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures (such as relative clauses) and pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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