Bar Chart

Band 4+: the graph below gives the result of a survey showing what 1.000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparasions where relevant

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The image presents a bar graph detailing the post-school activities of 1,000 young individuals from 2008 to 2012, segmented into three main categories: "Went to university," "Looked for work," and "Took a temporary break from education." In 2008, the respective values were approximately: university - 440, work - 350, break - 210. In 2009: university - 350, work - 450, break - 200. In 2010: university - 400, work - 350, break - 250. In 2011: university - 360, work - 410, break - 230. In 2012: university - 380, work - 370, break - 250.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the results of a survey showing what 1,000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012.

Overall, looking for work was the most common in 2008. The number of students who took a temporary break from education significantly increased in 2012. Whereas, the number of people who went to university declined steadily, despite some fluctuation over the period

Looking at the main figure, the people that looked for work reached 500 in 2008 and became the most popular.In 2009 declined slightly to 400. The went to university people increased to 300 onward. In 2009, in teenagers catagories increased to 400. In addition, the number of students who took a temporary manually increased in all years and increased to 300 over the period.

From 2010, university attendance became the leading choice. The number of students entering higher education reached 400 in 2010 before declining slightly to around 380 in 2011 and 300 in 2012. By comparison, the proportion looking for work dropped significantly from 320 in 2010 to 300 in 2012. Meanwhile, the figure for those taking a temporary break continued to rise, climbing from about 290 in 2010 to 300 in 2011 and approximately 320 in 2012.

Word Count: 202

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

increased: 5

people: 4

number: 4

students: 3

temporary: 3

university: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant issues with data accuracy and internal consistency. There are frequent contradictions between the different paragraphs; for example, the number of people looking for work is reported differently in each section, and the trends described in the overview are often contradicted by the specific details provided later. Additionally, some phrasing is unclear or grammatically incorrect (e.g., 'the went to university people' and 'took a temporary manually'). To improve, ensure that the data cited is consistent throughout the entire response and focus on grouping information logically to avoid repetitive or conflicting descriptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat disjointed. While there is an attempt at an overview and body paragraphs, the logical flow is interrupted by sentences that lack clear connections to one another. Some cohesive devices are used incorrectly (e.g., starting a sentence with 'Whereas' in a way that creates a fragment), and the progression of ideas within the second paragraph is difficult to follow. To improve, ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one and use a variety of linking words to show relationships between trends (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Following this').

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and, in several instances, inaccurate or awkward, which obscures the meaning. Phrases such as 'the went to university people,' 'teenagers catagories,' and 'took a temporary manually' are non-standard and confusing. There is also repetitive use of basic words. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'the number of students,' 'the proportion of individuals') and avoid attempting to combine words in ways that do not follow standard English patterns.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are significant grammatical issues throughout the report. There are several sentence fragments (sentences that lack a subject or a main verb), subject-verb agreement errors, and issues with word order. For example, 'In 2009 declined slightly to 400' lacks a subject. These errors frequently force the reader to pause to interpret the meaning. To improve, practice constructing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and pay close attention to how different clauses are joined together.

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