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Band 5+: The bar graph shows the total manufacturing production in percentages Asia Europe and the rest of the world

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The image displays a bar graph on total manufacturing production in percentages for three regions across five years. In 1840, the percentages were: Asia 50%, Europe 40%, and Rest of the World 10%. For 1880, the values were Asia 30%, Europe 45%, and Rest of the World 25%. In 1920, the figures stood at Asia 20%, Europe 50%, and Rest of the World 30%. In 1960, production was distributed as Asia 25%, Europe 38%, and Rest of the World 38%. For the year 2000, the data shows Asia with 45%, Europe with 28%, and Rest of the World with 32%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented bar chart illustrates the percentages of total manufacturing production in Asia, Europe and rest of the world between 1840 and 2000.

Overall, Asia experienced a downward trend, while Europe showed an upward trend at the beginning of the period. Both countries manufacturing production had some fluctuations. Although rest of the world initially had a lower rate, it outraced Europe at the end of the period.

Asia’s manufacturing rate was 50% in 1840, being higher than Europe’s rate by 10%. Then, Europe rose to almost five percent in 1880, whereas Asia showed considerably decrease to 30%. In addition, Asia dropped to about 20%, when Europe showed significantly increase to 50%. By, 1960, Europe decreased by around twelve percent, while Asia increased gradually to five percent. In the last year, Asia’s rate was about 45%, whereas Europe’s rate decreased to nearly 28%.

Percentage of manufacturing production in rest of the world was 10% in 1840, and then it increased to almost 25% in 1880. In 1920, it showed gradually increase to 30%. Thereafter, the figures for rest of the world and Europe were identical at approximately 38%. As a result, it dropped to aroun 32%.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

europe: 7

manufacturing: 4

world: 4

showed: 4

production: 3

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a description of the data for all three regions. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reporting that affect the clarity of the trends. For example, stating that Europe rose to 'almost five percent' in 1880 (when it actually rose to 45%) and that Asia increased to 'five percent' in 1960 (when it was 25%) significantly misrepresents the visual information. Additionally, some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'Both countries manufacturing production' and 'it outraced Europe', detract from the overall quality. To improve, ensure that numerical data is reported accurately and focus on using precise comparative language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors (e.g., 'By, 1960'). Some cohesive devices are used, but they sometimes feel mechanical or are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that transitions between sentences feel natural rather than forced.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and, in several instances, inaccurate in its application. For example, 'outraced' is not the most appropriate term for comparing statistical data, and 'showed considerably decrease' is grammatically incorrect (it should be 'a considerable decrease'). There are also issues with word forms, such as 'showed gradually increase' instead of 'a gradual increase'. Aim to use more precise academic collocations, such as 'witnessed a significant decline' or 'experienced a steady rise'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'rest of the world' should be 'the rest of the world'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Specifically, the use of 'being higher than' and the phrasing of percentage changes (e.g., 'rose to almost five percent' when the context implies a different value) need correction. Work on mastering the distinction between nouns and adjectives when describing trends (e.g., 'a significant increase' vs 'increased significantly') and ensure consistent use of articles.

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