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Band 7+: The graph below shows how people in one city in Australia buy music from 2015 to 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows how people in one city in Australia buy music from 2015 to 2020.

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The image is a line graph titled 'Percentage of Total Music Sales by Method' plotting data from 2015 to 2020 against a percentage axis from 0 to 16. For the years 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020 respectively, the data points are: Streams at 8%, 8%, 10%, 10.8%, 13%, and 14%; Downloads at 4.5%, 5%, 3%, 6%, 5.5%, and 4%; and CDs purchased at 15%, 14%, 13%, 10.8%, 9%, and 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided line graph illustrates the volume of total music sales in one city in Australia between 2015 and 2020. Overall, it is clear that while the percentage of streams showed an upward trend, the figure for CDs purchased declined sharply over the period. Additionally, the sale of downloads fluctuated in the same time.

Regarding streams, the number stood at 8%, which remained unchanged until 2016 before increasing moderately from 8% to 14%, which was the highest percentage in total music sales. By contrast, the highest number could be seen in CDs purchased in the first given period, at 15%, after which decrease dramatically to around 7%.

On the other hand, the figure for download was occupied the lowest figure for 5 years. The figure fluctuated between about 3% and approximately 6%. In concrete, the figure grew slightly from above 4% to around 5 before dropping rapidly to 3% , after that the figure reached a peak of 6%. Finally, the number of downloads declined slowly to 4%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 6

number: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data from the graph. There is a clear overview and the body paragraphs discuss the key features. To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Also, ensure that all data points mentioned are accurate and precisely reflect the information in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and separate paragraphs for each trend. However, transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, in the second paragraph, connecting the stream and CD trends more explicitly would improve coherence. Also, avoid repetition by using varied sentence structures and cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and appropriate for the task. There is room to enhance the lexical range by incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and quantities. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increased moderately' or 'declined sharply,' consider using synonyms like 'rose steadily,' 'plummeted,' or 'experienced a gradual decrease.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. Pay closer attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'the figure for download was occupied' is grammatically incorrect and should be revised. Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will improve the overall accuracy.

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