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Band 5+: The graph below shows information about the percentage of female students on four different courses at one university from 1970 to 2015

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The image depicts a line graph with four lines representing the percentage of female students in different fields over time from 1970 to 2015; the x-axis represents the years at 5-year intervals, and the y-axis represents the percentage from 0 to 100 at 25% intervals. Computer science starts at ~35% in 1970, rises to ~40% in 1985, drops to ~20% in 2015. Physics starts at ~10% in 1970, rises to ~20% in 1985, continues to ~25% in 2015. Medicine starts at ~10% in 1970, steadily rises to ~55% in 2000, fluctuates, and ends at ~50% in 2015. Law begins at ~5% in 1970, sharply rises to ~45% in 1990, continues to ~55% in 2000, and fluctuates to ~50% in 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph delineates the proportion of females engaging in four distinct courses, namely Computer Science, Physics, Medicine and Law. The survey was conducted at one particular university in the period from 1975 to 2015.

Overall, the computer science experienced a fluctuation during the period, with a downward trend from 1990 onwards; while three remaining courses were seen an upward trend. It was also noticeable that the Law suffered a surge in the first 5 years and ended at the first position.

In 1970, the computer science was the most fascinated subject during the pupils, which figure of around 30%. During the period, the figure for this subject rose sharply to nearly 75% before declining gradually to as same as its in 1970. Regarding physics course, the percentage of this subject increased stably, levelling off at around 55% from 1990 to 1995 ,and remaning this upward trend to standing at roughly 80% in 2015.

In terms of medicine course, the proportion of people engaging in this field witnessed a skyrocketing increase by roughly 40% from 1985 to 1990, countining to rose gradually and reaching 90% at the end. This field also surpassed computer science and physics from 1990 to 1995 to finish in the second position. Examining the law field, this course increased rapidly from 1975 onwards, overtaking three remaining courses, before declining in 2010 and immediately recovering to finish in the first-ranked, which figure of nearly 100%.

Word Count: 237

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

computer: 4

science: 4

courses: 3

physics: 3

period: 3

during: 3

trend: 3

subject: 3

figure: 3

course: 3

field: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies the four courses, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and consistency. While the prompt and visual description provide specific trends, the report frequently reports figures that are wildly different from the provided data (e.g., reporting Law at nearly 100% or Physics at 80%, when the description suggests much lower values). This creates a disconnect between the visual information and the written response. To improve, ensure that the data points mentioned in the text closely align with the trends shown in the graph. Additionally, focus on improving grammatical accuracy and word choice, as some phrasing is awkward or used incorrectly (e.g., 'the computer science experienced a fluctuation' or 'the most fascinated subject during the pupils').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'In terms of', 'Regarding'), they are occasionally used in ways that do not smoothly connect the ideas. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next without repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource

You have attempted to use a variety of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'delineates', 'witnessed a skyrocketing increase', 'surpassed'). However, there are several instances of incorrect word choices and awkward collocations that obscure meaning, such as 'the most fascinated subject during the pupils' or 'remaning this upward trend to standing'. Be careful with word forms and ensure that the vocabulary you choose fits the academic context of a data report. Aim for precision rather than just using 'big' words.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors that impact readability. Issues include incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the computer science'), subject-verb agreement, and problematic sentence structures (e.g., 'which figure of around 30%'). There are also errors in verb tense and participle usage (e.g., 'countining to rose'). To improve, practice complex sentence structures and pay close attention to the relationship between subjects and verbs, as well as the correct use of relative clauses.

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