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Band 5+: The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image illustrates UK households' technology access from 1994/95 to 2008: CD Player starts at 60% in 1994/95, reaching 90% by 2008, Mobile Phone begins at 20% in 1994/95, climbing to 80% by 2008, DVD Player appears first in 1998/99 at 10%, rising to 80% by 2008, Internet Connection is at 10% in 1998/99, growing to 70% by 2008.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The curve line reveals the shifting percentage of the modern technological access in households in the UK from 1995 to 2008.

Generally, the household technology percentages grew up consistently over the year. It could be shown that the mobile phone led the majority growth, while the internet connection showed contrastly, even though it continued to rise.

Among the household technologies in UK from 1994-2008, the mobile phone could be the first usage with the highest growth by 20% to 100%. Continously to the second household, namely CD player, which rose up by 60 to around 90%, closely to mobile phone.

DVD player and internet connection were similar to the mobile phone and CD player, showing not much different percents. However, internet connection was the third position, accounting approximately 70% at 2008. While, the last household refered to DVD player, which kept increasing from 0% to closely 80% over the period.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

household: 4

mobile: 4

player: 4

phone: 3

internet: 3

connection: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some relevant comparisons, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the mobile phone did not reach 100%. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and avoid generalizations that are not fully supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For instance, the connections between the general overview and the specific details in subsequent paragraphs need strengthening. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, phrases like 'grew up consistently' and 'showed contrastly' are not the most natural or accurate ways to describe the trends. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more specific and descriptive language would enhance the impact of your report. Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses ('the mobile phone led the majority growth'), subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward phrasing ('Continously to the second household'). Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction would help improve accuracy. Pay close attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles, as well as ensuring that your sentences are clear and concise.

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