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Band 5+: The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown in the diagrams below.

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Image for topic: The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown in the diagrams below.

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The image shows a line graph depicting pulse rate in beats per minute over time for two individuals: Mabel and Albert. At 0 minutes, Mabel has a pulse rate of 80, Albert at 90; at 1 minute, Mabel: 90, Albert: 110; at 2 minutes, Mabel's pulse peaks at 140, Albert at 130; at 3 minutes, Mabel at 110, Albert at 100; at 4 minutes, both Mabel and Albert equalize at 80.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph compares information about pulse rate changes between two different people of different ages and jobs.

Overall, both individuals experienced an increase in pulse rate before declining afterwards. The pulse rate in beats for Mabel, a 36-years old office worker shows a fluctuation and decline after 4 minutes. On the other hand, Albert who is a former college athlete aged 26 also illustrates a various number, but lower than Mabel for pulse rate at the end of minutes.

Looking in more detail, before a minute Albert stands up at 80 beats, while Mabel starts at above 60 beats. Both Albert and Mabel reports a gradual increase in one minute. Turning to two minutes, Albert rate slowly increases, whereas Mabel reaches its highest rate at above 140 beats. In three minutes, Albert rate has a decline to approximately 150 beats, meanwhile Mabel plunges to 100 beats. For the last minutes, Mabel and Albert still continues to decrease, Mabel decreases to 80, while Albert shows a significant decrease up to 60 beats.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mabel: 8

beats: 7

albert: 7

pulse: 4

minutes: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides an overview of the trends. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and consistency that detract from the overall achievement. For example, the report mentions Albert's rate declining to 150 beats at the three-minute mark, which contradicts the earlier description of his peak and the general downward trend. Additionally, the starting values and the final values for both individuals do not consistently align with the provided data. To improve, ensure that all numerical data cited is double-checked for accuracy and that the descriptions of trends (e.g., 'plunges' vs 'gradual increase') accurately reflect the magnitude of the changes shown in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise cohesive devices. For instance, the transition between sentences in the body paragraph could be smoother to help the reader follow the timeline more effortlessly. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. Phrases such as 'illustrates a various number' and 'Albert rate' are not natural English expressions. There is also some repetitive use of basic verbs. To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'peaked', 'plummeted', 'stabilized') and ensure that word choices are used in the correct collocation (e.g., 'pulse rate' instead of 'various number').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Both Albert and Mabel reports', 'Mabel and Albert still continues'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'a 36-years old office worker'). Additionally, some tense usage is inconsistent. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures more accurately and pay close attention to singular/plural agreement and the correct formation of compound adjectives (e.g., 'a 36-year-old office worker').

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