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Band 5+: The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a graph titled "Obesity rates in Padonia" with years on the x-axis from 2016 to 2020 and percentage on the y-axis from 0% to 30%. Two lines represent Women and Men. Women's obesity rates are 15% (2016), 16% (2017), 17% (2018), 19% (2019), 23% (2020). Men's rates are 10% (2016), 12% (2017), 13% (2018), 16% (2019), 21% (2020). Both lines show an upward trend over the years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The obesity rates in Padonia had increased over the year for both men and women . Overall, the obesity rates in Padonia increased steadily over the year form 2016 to 2020.

First of all, the men’s obese rate was steadily from 2016 to 2017, it was only 10% of men in Padonia was obese in 2016 and 2017. while from 2017 to 2020 the obese rate had increased to 25% and the main point is in 2018 to 2019 the had increased significantly. In 2018, there were only 11,5% of men were obese while in 2019 , the percentage of them had increased to nearly 19,5% and the number of men was obese reached peak in 2020 which was around 21%.

Secondly, the percentage of women who was obese had increased steadily from 2016 to 2019, it was about 10% in 2016 and 16% in 2018. while from 2019 to 2020 the percentage of them had increased remarkablely, the women’s obesity rate had incresed from 16% to 25%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

increased: 7

obese: 6

obesity: 3

padonia: 3

steadily: 3

while: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task requirements by summarizing the main trends in obesity rates for men and women in Padonia. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reported, and the analysis lacks depth. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide more specific comparisons between the obesity rates of men and women. Also, focus on presenting the data more concisely and avoid unnecessary repetition.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always smooth. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more effective in linking ideas within and between paragraphs. Paragraphing is attempted, but clarity could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, which sometimes affects the precision of the description. There are instances of inaccuracies in word choice. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to trends and data description. Pay attention to using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede understanding. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. To enhance grammatical accuracy, review basic grammar rules and practice constructing a variety of sentence types. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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Band 5+: The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

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