Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full-time job after graduating from a university in Australia, and also shows the average salary of both grads, from 2004 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full-time job after graduating from a university in Australia, and also shows the average salary of both grads, from 2004 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image contains two graphs: the first graph shows the percentage of full-time workers holding a university degree, with two categories (Maths Graduates and All Graduates) from 2004 to 2012. Maths Graduates percentages are as follows: 2004 - 80%, 2006 - 75%, 2008 - 70%, 2010 - 65%, 2012 - 60%. All Graduates percentages are as follows: 2004 - 85%, 2006 - 85%, 2008 - 75%, 2010 - 70%, 2012 - 65%. The second graph displays the average salary of graduates, again divided into Maths Grads and All Graduates, from 2004 to 2012. Maths Grads average salaries are as follows: 2004 - $41000, 2006 - $43000, 2008 - $50000, 2010 - $51000, 2012 - $60000. All Graduates average salaries are as follows: 2004 - $41000, 2006 - $43000, 2008 - $45000, 2010 - $47000, 2012 - $51000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph and table illustrate the proportion of school leavers in Australia who studied 11 year after university in 2004 to 2012 years.

Overall; The higest of persent about 85%. Anadition, the lowest of persent is 65%. An interesting aspect of this garp is that Math graduates stayed relatively stable from 2004 to 2012.

Firstly, According to the line graph, math than other graduates show 56%, and it has dramaticly grown in 2006. They sharply dropped 65% to 2012. However math leavers explaned almost no changed from 2004 to 2012.

Secondly, This table describes how much money was spend. Math and other leavres showed the same rate in 2004 to 2006 (41000$ in 2004, 43000$ in 2006). There was little difference in the remaining years, and they explaned mathematics was spend 50000$. The other spend less 5000%then math in 2008. Mathematics showed 51000$ in 2010, and it grew 56000$ in 2012. Such as, other leavers increased from 47000$ to 51000$ between 2010 and 2012.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 4

leavers: 3

spend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misunderstandings of the data. Key points are often irrelevant, inaccurate, or inappropriate. The organization is weak, and the language contains numerous errors, hindering comprehension. To improve, focus on accurately interpreting the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language. Practice describing trends and making comparisons using correct grammar and vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report struggles with coherence and cohesion. The organization of information is unclear, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. The introduction is not well-defined, and the overview is vague. The use of pronouns and references is often unclear, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. To improve, focus on creating a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that all pronouns and references are clear and unambiguous.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice. There are instances of inappropriate or imprecise language, which affects the clarity of the message. To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading widely and learning new words in context. Pay attention to the nuances of meaning and usage, and practice using new words in your writing. Use a dictionary and thesaurus to find synonyms and alternative expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors significantly impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering the fundamentals of English grammar. Review the rules of verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually progress to more complex structures. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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