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Band 6+: the line chart below show the reults of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the captital city of a particular country.

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The image depicts survey results on reasons for moving to a capital city from 2000 to 2015; for employment: 60,000 (2000), 80,000 (2005), 90,000 (2010), 90,000 (2015); for study: 30,000 (2000), 40,000 (2005), 60,000 (2010), 80,000 (2015); for family/friends: 10,000 (2000), 20,000 (2005), 30,000 (2010), 30,000 (2015); for adventure: steady ranges of 20,000 - 15,000 throughout, specifically 10,000 (2000), 15,000 (2005), 20,000 (2010), 15,000 (2015).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the changes in the results of a survey showing the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country from 2000 to 2015.

Overall, it is clear that employment has consistently the most reason for moving to the capital throughout the period. While adventure remained relatively stable given the period. Additionally, study has experienced a noticeable increase, whereas, families and friends witnessed a gradual increase.

Look at the details, in 2000, around 60,000 people moved to the capital for employment compared with approximately 25,000 who relocated for study. The number of people moving for work rose steadily before decline slightly by 2015. reaching a peak of around 90,000 in 2010. By contrast, the figure for study increased dramatically over the period, climbing to nearly 90,000 by the end, making it almost equal to employment.

Regarding other reasons, moving for families and friends experienced a slight increase, but overall remain relatively unchanged, reaching to around 25,000. This follows by adventures, which stood at roughly 10,000, indicating a considerable between the highest category and lowest category. The number of people moving for adventure remained unchanged the end period.

Word Count: 193

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

moving: 4

period: 4

capital: 3

study: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key trends in the data. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that could be improved. For instance, the report mentions a slight decline in employment by 2015, but the graph shows it remained stable. Also, the report states that the number of people moving for study climbed to nearly 90,000 by the end, but the graph shows it was 80,000. To improve, ensure greater accuracy in data reporting and provide more specific comparisons between the different categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, with a clear overall structure including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow could be improved in places. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition from employment to study could be smoother. The final paragraph also feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Pay attention to paragraphing to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'noticeable increase,' 'gradual increase,' and 'remained relatively stable.' However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For instance, instead of 'Look at the details,' you could use a more formal phrase like 'In detail' or 'Turning to the specifics.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as varying how you describe increases and decreases.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'employment has consistently the most reason' should be rephrased. Also, check subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the report. Pay close attention to prepositions and ensure they are used correctly. Proofreading carefully will help to eliminate these errors.

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