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Band 6+: Writing task 1 The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams per person per week

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The image shows a line graph titled "Consumption of Spreads" from 1981 to 2007, detailing usage in grams for Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads, and Butter. Margarine begins at 90g in 1981, fluctuates slightly around 80g to 100g until 1991, decreases steadily to about 40g by 2007. Butter starts at 140g in 1981, drops to around 70g in 1986, maintains approximately 50g in 1991, then falls gradually to 50g in 2007. Low fat & reduced spreads appear in 1996 at 10g, peaks at around 80g shortly after, and decreases to 70g by 2007.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph below depicts the three spreads consumption, namely margarine, Low fat spreads and butter between 1981 and 2007.

Overall, butter increased at the beginning of the period. Then, dropped by the end of the period. Moreover, margarine trend fell from the start until the end. The low fat and reduce spreads, they rapidly increased from the time they were introduced in 1996 and fell in the last period.

In 1981, butter consumption started with 140 grams, which was higher than the margarine at 90 grams. It then grew to 160 grams in 1986 then decreased throughout the period.

Regarding margarine, started at around 90 grams in 1981. Then, it dropped to 80 grams in 1986 and rose to 100 grams for both 1991 and 1996, which is continuously fell to 40 grams in 2007.

Low fat and reduced spreads rapidly increased from 10 grams in 1996 to peak at 85 grams then dropped to approximately 70 grams in the last period.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

grams: 10

spreads: 4

margarine: 4

butter: 3

increased: 3

period: 3

dropped: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and specific data points. However, there are some omissions and lapses in detail. To improve, focus on providing a more comprehensive description of trends and avoid inaccuracies.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to maintain a smoother progression of ideas. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'dropped' or 'increased,' try incorporating synonyms like 'declined,' 'rose,' or 'fluctuated.' Also, be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'reduced spreads' should be 'low fat and reduced spreads'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'butter increased at the beginning of the period' could be improved to 'butter consumption increased at the beginning of the period.' Proofreading carefully for these errors will enhance the report's overall accuracy.

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