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Band 5+: The line chart shows the percentage of children getting sufficient exercise

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The image shows a line graph depicting the percentages of children getting sufficient exercise over various years segmented by age and gender: In Yr 2008, Boys 7-13 at 90%, Boys 14-19 at 80%, Girls 7-13 at 85%, Girls 14-19 at 67%; In Yr 2010, Boys 7-13 at 85%, Boys 14-19 at 78%, Girls 7-13 at 70%, Girls 14-19 at 65%; In Yr 2012, Boys 7-13 at 80%, Boys 14-19 at 65%, Girls 7-13 at 65%, Girls 14-19 at 60%; In Yr 2014, Boys 7-13 at 75%, Boys 14-19 at 50%, Girls 7-13 at 45%, Girls 14-19 at 35%; In Yr 2019 (proj), Boys 7-13 at 50%, Boys 14-19 at 43%, Girls 7-13 at 33%, Girls 14-19 at 21%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the percentage of children who accessing efficient exercise. Overall, the group of boys bewteen 7-13 was the highest point of 2008, but in the end of period, it still was the top aged of children in 2019. Girls 7-13 was the lowest figure of children in the whole period in over 11 years.

In age group of boys, in 2008, boys 7-13 was the highest point of aged about 85%, it was decreased considerable amount, at 72% or above in 2010. From 2010 to 2012, it was remained stable and continued drop dramatically approximately 49% in 2014, then rise markedly until the end of period , at 52% in 2019. By contrast, boys 14-19 was slightly declined from 2008 to 2010 about 70%, after that levelled off until in 2012 and continued experienced a dramatic declines around 22% in 2019.

In age group of girls, in 2008, both girls 7-13 and girls 14-19 had a slightly rose at 70% and 72% until 2010. Both of them had signal of decrease and continued drop drammatically until the end of term.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 4

until: 4

children: 3

group: 3

period: 3

continued: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the line chart and identifying overall trends. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., starting percentages, specific values) and some unclear or inappropriate language (e.g., 'accessing efficient exercise', 'bewteen', 'drammatically'). The structure is present but could be more coherent, and some key comparisons are missing or imprecise. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data from the visual, using clearer vocabulary, and ensuring logical paragraphing that highlights main trends and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to structure the information by age group and gender, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear references and awkward phrasing. The overall message is understandable but requires effort from the reader. To improve, focus on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and using a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'subsequently') to link ideas smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at variation (e.g., 'considerable amount', 'dramatically', 'markedly'). However, there are several inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'accessing efficient exercise', 'the top aged of children', 'signal of decrease'). To improve, expand your range of synonyms for describing trends (e.g., 'plummeted', 'soared', 'fluctuated', 'plateaued') and ensure that the words you choose are used correctly in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'boys 7-13 was'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'who accessing', 'had a slightly rose'), and punctuation problems (e.g., missing commas, incorrect use of spaces before commas). Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack complexity. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) and review basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Proofreading carefully for punctuation errors is also essential.

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