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Band 5+: The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows participant numbers (y-axis) per year (x-axis) for Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis, and Musical performances from 2000 to 2020. Film club starts at 10 in 2000, rises to 15 in 2005, 20 in 2010, 30 in 2015, and 35 in 2020. Martial arts starts at 30 in 2000, decreases to 10 in 2005, falls further to 5 in 2010, stabilizes at 5 in 2015 and 2020. Amateur dramatics starts at 20 in 2000, increases to 25 in 2005, then 35 in 2010, peaks at 50 in 2015 and remains at 50 in 2020. Table tennis begins at 30 in 2000, ascends to 35 in 2005, slightly increases to 37 in 2010, rises to 50 in 2015 and reaches 55 in 2020. Musical performances begins at 60 in 2000, hikes to 70 in 2005, then holds at 70 in 2010 and 2015, peaks at 75 in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the numbers of people who engaged in various activities at a social centre in Melbourne for the period 2000 to 2020.

Overall, the number of participants in Film club and martial arts kept stable while others witnessed different trends.

Specifically, participants in film club remained 65 through these two decade, which was the highest figure all the time. Similarly, people who join in Martial arts generally maintain at 35 with slight fluctuation. In terms of table tennis, it grew marginally initially to 20. After that, it experienced a dramatic growth to over 50 by the end of 2020, becoming the second largest club among them. Surprisingly, there’s no participants in Musical performance until 2005. Then, it attracted people steadily to nearly 20, surpassing the amateur dramatics’ participants.

By contrast, the people in amateur dramatics was the only feature that dropped rapidly from 27 to 5, which was the least popular activity among them.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

participants: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The overall trends described do not match the visual information provided. For example, Film club is described as stable at 65, while the data shows a steady increase from 10 to 35. Martial arts is said to be stable at 35, but it actually decreases from 30 to 5. Musical performances are described as having no participants until 2005, but the data shows it starting at 60 in 2000. The report also omits key data points and comparisons. To improve, focus on accurately describing the main trends, making relevant comparisons, and ensuring the data is correctly interpreted. Avoid introducing unsupported information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overview and specific details, but the overall structure is somewhat disorganized. The description of trends is not always logical, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. For example, the discussion of 'Musical performance' and 'amateur dramatics' appears to be in the wrong order compared to the initial listing. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel disconnected. To improve, plan a clearer structure: start with a general overview, then describe the main trends for each activity in a logical sequence, using appropriate linking words to show contrast and comparison.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are attempts to use some appropriate terms like 'dramatic growth' and 'slight fluctuation', but the range is narrow. Some word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'kept stable', 'maintain at 35', and 'the highest figure all the time'. To improve, expand your vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'remained stable', 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted', 'soared') and use more precise language. Avoid informal phrasing like 'Surprisingly' in a formal report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('participants... kept', 'people... maintain'), incorrect tense usage ('remained 65 through these two decade'), and missing articles ('the people in amateur dramatics'). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and correct use of tenses. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinate clauses.

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Band 5+: The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line gragh below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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