Line Graph

Band 6+: The line graph shows the temperature in three different places in 2000.

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The image displays a line chart, 'Average Monthly Temperature in 2020', with Temperature (°C) on the y-axis from 0 to 30 and Month on the x-axis. For Tokyo, the monthly temperatures were: Jan 5, Feb 6, Mar 10, Apr 15, May 20, Jun 25, Jul 29, Aug 28, Sep 24, Oct 18, Nov 12, and Dec 6. For London, the values were: Jan 4, Feb 5, Mar 7, Apr 10, May 13, Jun 15, Jul 17, Aug 16, Sep 14, Oct 10, Nov 7, and Dec 5. For Sydney, the temperatures were: Jan 22, Feb 22, Mar 20, Apr 17, May 14, Jun 12, Jul 12, Aug 13, Sep 15, Oct 17, Nov 19, and Dec 21.

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The line graph represents average monthly temperature in three countries in 2020. Overall, Tokyo and London had common climate because of their peacks of warm in July and the coldest levels in Janury. Compered with them, Sydney had opposite temperature patterns, reaching the highest point in winter.

At the outset of the period, London slight increased from four degrees Celsius, which is the lowest figure on the illustation, to 17 in seven months. Having picked in July, the line shows a gradual decline during five monthes. Besides, Tokyo had the same changes, albeit weather conditions significant fluctated from 5 to 26 degrees, being constant above London.

On the other hand, Sydney started 2020 year with maintaining a steady trajectory of 22 degrees before spring coming. After that, the area experienced a downward trend and replaced it with substantial going up after reaching the minimum of 12 degrees in July. In general, the country showed the smallest fluctation in 10 marks during the timeframe, while Tokyo and London had 23 and 13 respectively.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

degrees: 4

tokyo: 3

london: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview of the temperature trends in the three cities. The description of the trends is generally clear, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., Tokyo's peak temperature). To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting the data and consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the temperature patterns. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overall summary are present, but the transitions between paragraphs and ideas are sometimes abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, creating a smoother and more logical progression of ideas. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' can help to clarify the relationships between different pieces of information. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of 'common climate,' consider using 'similar temperature patterns.' Also, be mindful of spelling errors ('Compered' should be 'Compared,' 'Janury' should be 'January,' 'monthes' should be 'months,' 'fluctated' should be 'fluctuated'). Improving vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling will enhance the clarity and credibility of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors impact the overall clarity. Errors such as 'London slight increased' (should be 'London slightly increased' or 'London saw a slight increase') and incorrect verb tenses ('weather conditions significant fluctated' should be 'weather conditions significantly fluctuated') need to be addressed. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these errors.

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Band 6+: The line graph shows the temperature in three different places in 2000.

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The line graph shows the temperature in three different places in 2000.

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