Bar Chart

Band 7+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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The image shows the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007: Day trip: Men 50, Women 40; Sports/entertainment: Men 70, Women 60; Visiting friends: Men 150, Women 150; Shopping: Men 100, Women 150; Travelling to work: Men 250, Women 300.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of trips made by men and women for five different purposes in particular European countries in 2007.

Overall, men made more trips than women for traveling to work, sports/ entertainment and day trip, whereas women undertook more trips than men for shopping and visiting friends. Notably, traveling to work had the largest number of men, while shopping was the most common reason for women to travel.

In terms of male dominant sections, traveling to work was the most popular reason for men to travel, standing at approximately 330 trips, while the number of trips made by females was just over 210, making it the largest gap between two genders among all categories. This figure was followed by sports/ entertainment, about 145 trips were undertaken by males and roughly 130 trips for females. Moreover, day trip was the reason, which drew the smallest number of males and females, only around 30 trips for men and 25 trips for women.

As for the remaining categories, shopping had the highest number of women at approximately 280 trips, while men just made over 195. In addition, about 205 trips were undertaken by females and around 198 trips for males, becoming the section with the smallest difference between two genders.

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trips: 12

number: 5

women: 5

females: 4

traveling: 3

shopping: 3

while: 3

reason: 3

males: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the data and provides an overall comparison. However, there are some inaccuracies in the specific numbers (e.g., traveling to work: men 330 vs 250, women 210 vs 300; shopping: women 280 vs 150, men 195 vs 100; visiting friends: women 205 vs 150, men 198 vs 150; sports/entertainment: men 145 vs 70, women 130 vs 60; day trip: men 30 vs 50, women 25 vs 40). While minor data errors are acceptable, these are significant deviations. The report also misstates that women made more trips for visiting friends, whereas the data shows equal numbers. To improve, ensure data accuracy and avoid overstating differences. The structure and language are clear, but focus on precise reporting of figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with clear overall trends and specific details. However, the paragraphing could be improved by separating the overview from the detailed analysis more distinctly. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but some transitions feel slightly abrupt.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and mostly appropriate, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'male dominant sections'). However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'trips made by') and a few awkward phrases (e.g., 'the reason, which drew'). A wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated expressions would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'in particular European countries', 'standing at approximately 330 trips', 'about 145 trips were undertaken by males and roughly 130 trips for females'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-on or lack clarity. More careful proofreading is needed.

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