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Band 5+: The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

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The image illustrates modes of school transportation in three countries: Australia, USA, and UK. Other: Australia 4, USA 2, UK 6. Public transport: Australia 9, USA 11, UK 12. Bicycle: Australia 6, USA 2, UK 8. Walk: Australia 15, USA 13, UK 19. School bus: Australia 31, USA 37, UK 24. Car: Australia 40, USA 39, UK 25.

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The provided illustration gives the data about the commutes of students to school in proportion, in the countries including UK, USA, and Australia.

Overall, most of schoolchildren get to school by using private vehicle and school bus in all three countries. However, others tend to walk, ride a bicycle, use public transport and other forms of getting there.

By using cars and school bus to the direction of school, USA is considering as the highest (approximately 40% ) between all other countries. British people also have shown a big usage of these vehicles and have almost 40% in the usage of car and roughly 25% by school bus. Additionally, these two countries did not show considerable percentages in other areas.

Australia is showing good proportion by taking school bus and have almost 32%, which is leading from British. Commutes by walking, cycling, using public transport, and other options was the less considered. All three countries only have almost 20% in these categories.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 7

countries: 5

other: 4

using: 3

these: 3

almost: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the data, providing a reasonable overview of the transportation methods used by schoolchildren in the three countries. However, there's room for improvement in terms of detail and accuracy. To improve, include more specific data points to support your generalizations. For example, instead of saying 'USA is considering as the highest (approximately 40%)', provide the exact percentages for both car and school bus usage in the USA. Also, ensure that all significant data is mentioned, even if briefly, to provide a more comprehensive picture.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, and the transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit vague or repetitive. Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive language to convey the information more effectively. For example, instead of 'big usage,' you could use 'significant proportion' or 'substantial use.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is also somewhat simple and could benefit from more complex constructions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors, and focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures to express your ideas more precisely.

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Band 5+: The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

The percentage of different ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries

Other Topics:

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