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Band 5+: The percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting this main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting this main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image compares the percentage of people born in Australia and outside Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas between 1995 and 2010. For 1995, people born in Australia: cities 50%, towns 30%, rural areas 20%; people born outside Australia: cities 60%, towns 15%, rural areas 25%. For 2010, people born in Australia: cities 65%, towns 20%, rural areas 15%; people born outside Australia: cities 80%, towns 10%, rural areas 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The rate of people who came from Australia together with those who were from abroad inhabiting in cities, towns and rural areas in Australia from 1950 to 2010.

Overall, the percentage of people who residing in cities both in and outside Australia experienced s moderate increase over the years. By contrast, those people who inhabit in towns and rural ereas dramtically declined.

The figure for city dwellers both in and outside Australia rose gradually from 50% and 66% to 67% and 80% respectively between 1950 and 2010. Meanwhile in 1950 around 20% of people born in Australia living in towns compared with just over 30% living in the rural areas dropped to approxiamately 15% each in 2010. Likewise, the data for people were born elsewhere risiding in rural areas saw a remarkbale fall, from 40% in 1950 the it reached the lowest point of 5% in 2010. Except for, rhe rate of those living in towns remained stable at almost 10% throughout the period

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

australia: 5

towns: 4

rural: 4

those: 3

areas: 3

living: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and inconsistencies with the provided data. The years mentioned in the report are incorrect (1950 instead of 1995). The data cited in the third paragraph also contains inaccuracies. To improve, ensure that the data presented is accurate and consistent with the visual information. Also, proofread the report to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. Paragraphing could be improved to better group related ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, hindering the overall coherence. For example, the shift from the overall trend to specific figures could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('rate' instead of 'percentage,' 'inhabiting' is less common). There are also some spelling errors ('approxiamately,' 'rereas,' 'remarkbale,' 'risiding,' 'rhe'). Expanding your vocabulary and paying closer attention to spelling will enhance the clarity and credibility of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include incorrect verb tenses ('experienced s moderate increase'), subject-verb agreement issues ('people who inhabit'), and incorrect preposition usage ('in towns and rural ereas'). Sentence structure is also sometimes awkward, making the text difficult to follow. Focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately and proofread carefully to catch errors.

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