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Band 7+: The percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting this main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting this main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image compares the percentage of people born in Australia and outside Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas between 1995 and 2010. For 1995, people born in Australia: cities 50%, towns 30%, rural areas 20%; people born outside Australia: cities 60%, towns 15%, rural areas 25%. For 2010, people born in Australia: cities 65%, towns 20%, rural areas 15%; people born outside Australia: cities 80%, towns 10%, rural areas 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given bar chart compares the proportion of residents living in cities, towns, and rural areas between two types of people who were born inside and outside Australia in 1950 and 2010.

Overall, it can be observed that urban residents always led in the total data for both years. Remarkably, there was a decrease in the rate of rural residents after 60 years.

Looking at the people who were born inside Australia, it is clear that there was a slight increase in the rate of those residents living in cities, from around 50% to over 60%, from 1950 to 2010. Meanwhile, in 1950, the percentage of city residents nearly doubled those of town and rural areas, at 20% and 30%, respectively, but these were similar after 60 years, at 15%.

Moving on to the residents who were born outside Australia, the outstanding point is that the share of individuals living in cities was remarkably high for both years, at 60% and 80%, respectively, which were higher than remaining areas as many times. At the same time, the rural residents accounted for 40% in 1950, higher than that of towns by nearly 30%. The final record is that after 60 years, almost all people migrated to cities, so both areas saw a drop, to 5% and 10%, as the previous mention.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

residents: 7

cities: 4

rural: 4

areas: 4

years: 4

living: 3

people: 3

australia: 3

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a generally clear overview of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies and a few areas where more specific data could have been included to strengthen the analysis. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider including comparative language to highlight key differences and trends more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between ideas. For example, in the last paragraph, the connection between the initial observation and the subsequent details could be strengthened. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to avoid repetition and improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and proportions. Terms like 'proportion,' 'residents,' 'rate,' 'share,' and 'accounted for' are used appropriately. However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, instead of 'led in the total data,' consider 'dominated the distribution.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'many times'. Continue to expand your vocabulary related to data analysis and comparison to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the percentage of city residents nearly doubled those of town and rural areas, at 20% and 30%, respectively, but these were similar after 60 years, at 15%.' This sentence is grammatically awkward and could be restructured for better clarity. Also, 'the rural residents accounted for 40% in 1950, higher than that of towns by nearly 30%.' This contains an inaccurate data point. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate data representation to improve grammatical accuracy.

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