Pie Chart

Band 5+: The percentage of the working day adults spend doing different activities in a country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of the working day adults spend doing different activities in a country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing daily activity percentages between 1958 and 2008: for 1958, activities include sleeping (32%), working (33%), going out with friends/family (19%), traveling to work (8%), relaxing at home (2%), and other (6%), while for 2008, they include sleeping (25%), working (40%), going out with friends/family (13%), traveling to work (8%), relaxing at home (8%), and other (6%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart compares the daily routine of adults, how much time they spend doing different activities in a country between 1958 and 2008.

Overall, it is obvious that in the latter year their working hours significantly increased, so it changed all their time spending, reducing in one field and increasing in another.

First of all, in 1958, adults spent their 32 % of time on sleeping, in contrast, in 2008 it decreased significantly to 25%. Moreover, in the former year, their working hours included 33 % of their routine, which is rised to 40 % in the latter year. Also, adults used to go out spending more time in the past. However, in 2008, they declined the time for going out.

Regarding other activities, there has not significant changes, whereas relaxing at home become more attractive to them and reached from 8% to 13 %. Finally, travelling to work, which took only 2 % in 1958, it showed moderate rise, being 8 % in 2008.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

adults: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The introduction is adequate, and the overview identifies a key trend. However, there are inaccuracies in the body paragraphs, such as the incorrect percentages for 'relaxing at home' and 'travelling to work' in 1958. The report also refers to a 'bar chart' when it should be 'pie charts'. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and avoid misrepresenting the visual information. Also, focus on making more direct comparisons between the two years for each activity to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the transitions between paragraphs and sentences are not always smooth. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence. For example, using transition words like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' can help guide the reader through the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks sophistication. There is some repetition of words like 'time' and 'activities.' Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and comparisons more precisely. For instance, instead of 'increased,' you could use 'rose,' 'grew,' or 'expanded.' Instead of 'decreased,' you could use 'declined,' 'fell,' or 'shrank.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'which is rised' should be 'which rose,' and 'there has not significant changes' should be 'there were no significant changes.' Pay closer attention to these areas to improve grammatical accuracy. Also, ensure correct punctuation throughout the report.

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