Pie Chart

Band 5+: The percentage of the working day adults spend doing different activities in a country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of the working day adults spend doing different activities in a country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing daily activity percentages between 1958 and 2008: for 1958, activities include sleeping (32%), working (33%), going out with friends/family (19%), traveling to work (8%), relaxing at home (2%), and other (6%), while for 2008, they include sleeping (25%), working (40%), going out with friends/family (13%), traveling to work (8%), relaxing at home (8%), and other (6%).

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The given pie chart illustrates, the rate of the busy day adult person spend doing other activities in a country over the past 50 years. Overall, people working remained the most relavent activity, while going out with or without friends and families saw the fastest growth.

The ratio in people working was always high in first place through out the period, starting around 33 percent and ending at 40 percent. Going out with friends and families had a similar pattern of growth, remaining relatively increasing in big numbers.

By contrast, Traveling to work and relaxing at home had similar development with minor increase by 2008. In comparison Sleeping has decreased gradually over the period. Meanwhile, others which intially had small proportion stayed the same over the end of the period.

In conclusion, working remained the most popular activity by the adults, while going out experienced the strongest growth in comparison to others, relaxing at home also made a consistant increase. On the other hand Sleeping gradually declined, along with others staying the same

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 3

going: 3

others: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task and attempts to summarise the main features and make comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies and a lack of specific data to support the general trends described. The language is also somewhat imprecise and contains grammatical errors. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points to illustrate the trends, ensure accuracy in reporting the percentages, and refine the language for clarity and grammatical correctness.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the connections between the trends of different activities are not always clearly articulated. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison of data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice ('relavent,' 'consistant'). To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary that accurately describes trends and comparisons. For example, instead of 'big numbers,' consider using 'significant increase' or 'substantial growth.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'people working remained the most relavent activity' and 'Going out with friends and families had a similar pattern of growth, remaining relatively increasing in big numbers' contain grammatical inaccuracies. Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring correct grammar usage to enhance the accuracy of your writing.

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