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Band 7+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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The image displays two pie charts for 2015 and 2020, illustrating the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector. In 2015, ages under 21 account for 14%, ages 21-30 make up 23%, ages 31-40 represent 21%, ages 41-50 are 19%, and over 50s constitute 23%. By 2020, ages under 21 comprise 12%, ages 21-30 increase to 33%, ages 31-40 decline to 7%, ages 41-50 rise to 28%, and over 50s decrease to 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of workers in the public sector categorised by age in the UK in two specific years: 2015 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that employers at 21-30 age are the most common group, whereas employers under 21 are the least common group.

According to the pie charts, the most significant increase was seen in the 21-30 age group, which rose considerably from 23% in 2015 to 33% in 2020. A similar upward trend occurred among 41-50-year-olds, whose share grew by only 9%, starting from 19% at the beginning to 28% at the end of the period.

Turning to the decreased trends,the proportion of 31-40-year-olds fell sharply from 21% to 11% . Next changes were seen with employers over 50 years, their proportion dropped noticeably from 23% in 2015 to 16% in 2020. In contrast, the least marked decline occurred at the under 21 age group, whose share decreased just by 2%, from 14% to 12%.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 3

employers: 3

group: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides relevant comparisons between the two years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, such as the decrease in the 31-40 age group (reported as 11% in 2020 instead of 7%). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including more specific details to support the overall trends identified.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The information is presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'According to,' 'Turning to,' and 'In contrast' helps to guide the reader through the data. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved with more precise transitions or by combining related ideas more effectively. For example, the transition between the increase and decrease trends could be smoother. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data to maintain clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to describing proportions and changes over time. Terms like 'proportion,' 'rose considerably,' 'upward trend,' 'fell sharply,' and 'noticeably' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions to describe trends and comparisons. For example, instead of 'rose considerably,' you could use 'increased substantially' or 'saw a marked increase.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is consistently accurate and contextually appropriate throughout the report. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct and punctuation is generally accurate. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Next changes were seen with employers over 50 years' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Review the report carefully to identify and correct any remaining errors in grammar, sentence structure, and word choice to improve overall accuracy.

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Band 7+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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Overall Band Score

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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The pie charts below compare the percentages of users across different age groups on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats anadded sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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