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Band 7+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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The image displays two pie charts for 2015 and 2020, illustrating the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector. In 2015, ages under 21 account for 14%, ages 21-30 make up 23%, ages 31-40 represent 21%, ages 41-50 are 19%, and over 50s constitute 23%. By 2020, ages under 21 comprise 12%, ages 21-30 increase to 33%, ages 31-40 decline to 7%, ages 41-50 rise to 28%, and over 50s decrease to 16%.

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The two pie charts compare the percentages of staff employed that are specialized by different group ages in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020.

Overall, those aged 21 to 30 and over 50 made up the largest proportion in 2015, whilst 21 to 30 age group was the most popular age for staff employees in 2020. However, people aged under 21 and 31 to 40 was the lowest proportion in 2015 and 2020, respectively.

In 2015, both 21 to 30 and over 50 age groups were the most popular categories, each accounting for 23% of total staff employees. Those aged 31 to 40 ranked second at 21%. Moreover, people aged 41 to 50 and under 21 accounted for the smallest proportion (19% and 14%, respectively).

On the other hand, 21 to 30 age group recorded as the highest percentage at 33% followed by those aged 41 to 50 which accounted for 28%. Furthermore, the percentage of the 31 to 40 and under 21 age groups were almost identical, differing by only 1 percentage point, while over 50 age group recorded at 16%.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

group: 4

staff: 3

those: 3

proportion: 3

under: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and detailed comparison of the two pie charts. The overall structure is logical, with an introduction, an overview, and specific data paragraphs. The data is mostly accurate, and the key trends are highlighted. Minor omissions include not explicitly stating the overall change in the under 21 group (from 14% to 12%) and the slight inaccuracy in describing the 31-40 and under 21 groups as 'almost identical' (7% vs 12% differ by 5 percentage points, not 1). However, these do not detract significantly from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately described and consider mentioning the most significant changes (e.g., the rise in 21-30 and the fall in 31-40).

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall statement and separate paragraphs for each time period. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, the transition from the overview to the detailed description could be smoother, and the use of 'On the other hand' in the second paragraph is slightly informal and not entirely appropriate for a comparison of two time periods. Consider using more precise linking phrases such as 'In contrast' or 'Meanwhile' to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'accounted for', 'ranked second', and 'recorded as the highest percentage'. However, there are some awkward and unnatural phrases, such as 'staff employed that are specialized by different group ages' and 'the most popular age for staff employees'. These could be rephrased more naturally, for example, 'the proportion of staff in different age groups' and 'the age group with the highest proportion of staff'. Additionally, the phrase 'people aged under 21 and 31 to 40 was the lowest proportion' is grammatically incorrect and could be improved to 'the under 21 and 31 to 40 age groups had the lowest proportions'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity and accuracy. For instance, 'people aged under 21 and 31 to 40 was the lowest proportion' has a subject-verb agreement error (should be 'were'), and '21 to 30 age group recorded as the highest percentage' is missing a verb (should be 'recorded the highest percentage' or 'was recorded as the highest percentage'). Additionally, the phrase 'the percentage of the 31 to 40 and under 21 age groups were almost identical' has a subject-verb agreement issue (should be 'was' because the subject is 'the percentage'). To improve, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and use a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses and passive constructions, to enhance grammatical range.

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Band 7+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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