Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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The image shows a pie chart with the distribution of causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents account for 20%, lack of revision for 8%, poor facilities for 10%, unskilled teachers for 35%, and upbringing for 27%.

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The pie chart records the outcome survey of the several poor learning causes among schools in a spesific country in 2011

Overall, the highest portion of poor learning outcomes was teacher who did not competent in a few course skills. While, lack of revision became the lowest percetage of the whole of negative learning outcomes.

Non-competent teachers accounted for 35%, showing most teachers on a particular country were not qualified of the requirement skills needed. Following to the second causes was upbringing, which recorded 27%. Afterward, working parents as recorded 20%, becoming the third ranking causes in negative learning impact.

The second last negative causes were poor facilities and lack of revision. Conversely, lack of good facilities reported as much as 10% and the rest of negative learning causes recorded at 10%. Eventually, the five causes which affecting to students should improve regularly, especially from between the teacher comptencies and school empowerment.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

causes: 6

learning: 5

negative: 4

recorded: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main features of the chart, including the highest and lowest percentages, and provides an overall summary. However, there are some inaccuracies (e.g., 'lack of good facilities reported as much as 10% and the rest of negative learning causes recorded at 10%' is confusing and inaccurate) and minor omissions. The language is generally clear but could be more precise. To improve, ensure data is reported accurately and avoid vague statements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an overview and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Following to the second causes'). Paragraphing could be improved to separate ideas more clearly. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use a wider range of linking words appropriately.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but repetitive and lacks precision. There are errors in word choice (e.g., 'spesific' for 'specific', 'comptencies' for 'competencies', 'percetage' for 'percentage'). Some phrases are awkward (e.g., 'teacher who did not competent', 'the whole of negative learning outcomes'). To improve, use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('teacher who did not competent'), missing articles, and faulty sentence structures. Punctuation is inconsistent (e.g., missing commas, incorrect use of periods). While some complex sentences are attempted, they are often flawed. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of tenses, and sentence boundaries. Proofreading for basic errors is essential.

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