Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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The image shows a pie chart with the distribution of causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents account for 20%, lack of revision for 8%, poor facilities for 10%, unskilled teachers for 35%, and upbringing for 27%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart displays the results of the research of the reasons of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

There is 5 causes why students have a low knowledge in schools. The main reason is unskilled teachers that take 35% of the chart. The lowest impact is due to lack of revision with the 8%.

The chart shows that only 3 of the reasons are high with the percent level of above or equal to 20. They are unskilled teachers (35%), upbringing (27%), and,the last one of the highest impactsful reasons, working parents with a percentage level of 20. Comparable to those results, there are lower causes of students’ poor knowledge. They are poor facilities (10%) and lack of revision (8%).

In conclusion, the reason why the knowledge level in a particular country is low due to teachers, who can not teach well.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chart: 3

reasons: 3

knowledge: 3

teachers: 3

level: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report appropriately addresses the task by describing the main features of the pie chart and making relevant comparisons. It correctly identifies the most significant cause (unskilled teachers) and the least significant (lack of revision), and groups the causes into higher and lower impact categories. However, there are some minor lapses in language accuracy and style, such as informal phrasing ('impactsful reasons') and a slightly awkward conclusion. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Overall, the response covers the requirements of the task well. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by awkward phrasing and minor lapses in cohesion. For example, the phrase 'There is 5 causes' and the sentence 'The chart shows that only 3 of the reasons are high with the percent level of above or equal to 20' are not smoothly integrated. The use of 'Comparable to those results' is slightly unclear. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Also, avoid informal or vague expressions like 'the last one of the highest impactsful reasons'.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'displays', 'causes', 'percentage level'), but there are several lexical inaccuracies and awkward choices. For instance, 'the research of the reasons' should be 'research on the reasons', 'low knowledge' is not idiomatic (better: 'poor learning outcomes'), and 'impactsful' is not a standard word. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of 'reasons' and 'causes'. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise academic phrasing, such as 'accounted for', 'contributed to', or 'were responsible for'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, 'There is 5 causes' should be 'There are 5 causes', 'that take 35%' should be 'which account for 35%', and 'the last one of the highest impactsful reasons' is grammatically incorrect. Also, there is an unnecessary comma in 'and,the last one'. The final sentence is incomplete: 'due to teachers, who can not teach well' lacks a main verb. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, use correct relative clauses, and ensure all sentences are complete. Additionally, use a wider range of complex structures, such as passive voice or conditional sentences, to enhance grammatical range.

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