Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1980, 1990, and 2000, showing data for employed, further education, and unemployed categories in percentages for young people in Australia after university. In 1980: employed 60%, further education 10%, unemployed 30%. In 1990: employed 40%, further education 50%, unemployed 10%. In 2000: employed 55%, further education 37%, unemployed 8%.

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The given charts demonstrate the proportions of secondary school graduates’ actions in Australia in the years 1980, 1990, and 2000.

In general, most young people started working after leaving school in all three periods. Further education was also preferable to employment in some years, whereas almost the same rates were experienced for unemployment.

Turning to the rates of working graduates, the highest proportion was shown in 2000, accounting for 55%. It remained the most popular choice in 1990 as well and formed half of all young people. However, in 1980, at 40%, it gave way to further education, which accounted for one-half of the proportion. In contrast, the rest of the periods showed lower results for graduates continuing their studies, building up to 38% for 1990 and 37% for 2000 respectively. Unemployment rates were quite low, but the lowest percentage was in the year 2000 at 8%, then 1980 followed it at 10%, and the highest rate comparatively for unemployed youth was in 1990 at 12%.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

rates: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes relevant comparisons, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that the highest proportion of working graduates was in 2000 at 55%, but the chart for 1980 shows 60%. Also, the report mentions that in 1980, further education accounted for one-half of the proportion, but the chart shows 10% for further education and 60% for employment. While the overall trends are captured, attention to detail in data accuracy would improve the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and specific details in the subsequent paragraphs. However, the transitions between some sentences could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between the general statement and the specific data points could be strengthened with more explicit linking words or phrases. Also, the final sentence in the third paragraph seems to have some inaccurate data.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for the task. Terms like 'proportions,' 'graduates' actions,' and 'accounting for' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to employment, education, and unemployment trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a strong command of grammar with accurate sentence structures and punctuation. The sentences are generally well-formed and convey the intended meaning clearly. While the grammar is mostly accurate, ensure that all data references are precise and align with the provided charts to maintain the highest level of accuracy.

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