Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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Image for topic: The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1980, 1990, and 2000, showing data for employed, further education, and unemployed categories in percentages for young people in Australia after university. In 1980: employed 60%, further education 10%, unemployed 30%. In 1990: employed 40%, further education 50%, unemployed 10%. In 2000: employed 55%, further education 37%, unemployed 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts provided data about what youngest of Australia did after graduated Secondary school in the years 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Overall, most of students were employed and chose further education during the period, whereas the lower percentage stayed unemployed.

In detail, graduaters in 1980, takes up 50% of who preffered further education, and 40% got the job or rather they employed. Additionally, unemployed makes up only 10%. On the other hand , in 1990 employed had a significant portion with 50%, while unemplyed students had a tiny fraction about 12% and percentage of further education comprises 38%, respectively.

Likewise, in 2000 the largest segment represent the employed with 55%. By contrast, unemployed had 8% of chart, which is the smallest portion. During the same period, rate of further education takes up the 38%.

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employed: 4

further: 4

education: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The data reported does not always align with the visual description. The structure is present but could be improved with a clearer overview and more distinct paragraphs for each year or comparison. To improve, ensure data accuracy, provide a more comprehensive overview, and organize the information more logically. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The structure could be improved by grouping information more logically and using clearer transitions between paragraphs and sentences. For example, the shifts between discussing different years feel abrupt. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('youngest of Australia,' 'graduaters'). There are also instances of imprecise word choice ('takes up,' 'got the job,' 'tiny fraction'). To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to describe the data and trends. Explore synonyms and collocations related to employment, education, and unemployment.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include incorrect verb tenses ('graduated' instead of 'graduating', 'takes up'), subject-verb agreement issues ('graduaters in 1980, takes up'), and incorrect preposition use. Sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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