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Band 4+: The pie charts below show energy sources used in Australia in 2008 as well as predictions for 2030

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The image contains two pie charts comparing energy source utilization in Australia for the years 2008 and 2030. In 2008, energy sources include Oil at 32.50%, Coal at 37.00%, Gas at 25.10%, Other at 0.60%, Hydro at 2.70%, Solar at 0.20%, and Wind at 1.30%. The 2030 projections indicate Oil at 30.50%, Coal at 22.00%, Gas at 25.70%, Other at 3.60%, Hydro at 10.50%, Solar at 4.90%, Wind at 6.10%, and Geothermal at 3.20%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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There are two types of graphs above. We can see that they want to show us energy sources used in Australia in 2008 as well as predictions for 2030. In 2008, we can see they used solar, wind, gas, oil, coal, hydro and other.

Firstly, I will talk about energy sources used in Australia in 2008. Hydro is the least used solar power with a percantage of 0,20%. Wind is the second least used energy source with a point of 0,30%. Solar is the third least used energy souce with a point of 1,30%. Other is the fourth least used energy source with a percantage of 3,80%. Gas is the one of the most used solar power with a point of 22,90%. Oil is most used solar power with a percantage of 32,50%. Coal is the most used solar power with a point of 39%.

Secondy, we can talk about predictions of energy sources in Australia for 2030. As the chart shows, hydro is expected to be least used solar power with a percentage of 0,70%. Wind is 1,20%, other is 3,60%, geothermal is 4,30%, coal is 27%, Gas is 32%, oil is 35,50%.

In conclusion, we can see a lot of differences energy sources between Australia in 2008 and expected 2030. We can see that many of the energy sources has changed. We can see many new energy sources for expected 2030 year.

Word Count: 234

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

energy: 9

solar: 7

sources: 6

least: 5

power: 5

australia: 4

point: 4

hydro: 3

percantage: 3

expected: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies in the data reported from the pie charts. Key points are often inaccurate, and there are issues with the organization and clarity of the information presented. To improve, focus on accurately extracting and reporting data from the charts, and ensure that the comparisons and trends you identify are supported by the data. Also, pay attention to the structure of your report, ensuring a clear and logical flow of information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is basic and doesn't provide a strong overview. The body paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and the transitions between them are weak. The conclusion is generic and doesn't effectively summarize the key trends or provide a clear takeaway. To improve coherence, use more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and sentences. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focuses on a specific aspect of the data. The organization could be improved by grouping similar data points together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive. There is over-reliance on basic words and phrases, such as 'we can see' and 'energy sources'. The report also contains inaccuracies in the use of terminology (e.g., referring to all energy sources as 'solar power'). To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to energy production and consumption. Use synonyms and more precise language to describe trends and data points. Avoid repetition by rephrasing ideas in different ways. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in punctuation. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. There are also inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences, compound sentences) and ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Pay attention to the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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