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Band 4+: The pie charts below show energy sources used in Australia in 2008 as well as predictions for 2030

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The image contains two pie charts comparing energy source utilization in Australia for the years 2008 and 2030. In 2008, energy sources include Oil at 32.50%, Coal at 37.00%, Gas at 25.10%, Other at 0.60%, Hydro at 2.70%, Solar at 0.20%, and Wind at 1.30%. The 2030 projections indicate Oil at 30.50%, Coal at 22.00%, Gas at 25.70%, Other at 3.60%, Hydro at 10.50%, Solar at 4.90%, Wind at 6.10%, and Geothermal at 3.20%.

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The pie charts illustrate the energy sources used in Australia in 2008 as weel as predictions for 2030.

Overall, the some sources increased, while some sources decreased. The both years coal and oil are more than other sources.

The oil was the secondry place at numbers, it was 32.50% in 2008, while in 2030 it predicted to rise to 35.50%. Also, the gas was 22.90% in 2008, in 2030 it will may increase to 32 percentage. So, in 2008 hyndro was only 0.20%, and in 2030 hyndro is likely grew to 0.70 percentage. Wind was 0.30% in 2008 years. Meanwhile solar is predicted to rise to 1.20%. Moreover, in 2030 will appear the sourse geothermal, its figure is 4.30 %.

Therefore, in 2008 the highest source was coal, its number is 39 percent, but it expected to fell to 27 percent. Solar was 1.30 percent in 2008, but it may disappeared in 2030. The last is other sources was 3.80%, it will decline to 3.60% in 2030.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sources: 4

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the information presented in the pie charts, but it contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. The organization is not very clear, and the language contains errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information jumps between different energy sources and time periods without a clear structure. Paragraphing is weak, and the connections between sentences are often unclear. Use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('Also,' 'So,' 'Therefore'). To improve, focus on creating a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or categories, and a conclusion. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated or precise language to describe the data. For example, using 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are inaccuracies in the use of vocabulary ('secondry place,' 'hyndro,' 'sourse'). To improve, expand your vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and predictions. Use synonyms and more precise language to describe changes and quantities. Pay attention to spelling and word choice. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. Examples include 'as weel,' 'the some sources,' 'The both years,' 'it predicted to rise,' 'hyndro was only 0.20%,' 'Wind was 0.30% in 2008 years,' and 'its number is 39 percent.' To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences correctly.

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