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Band 8+: The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.

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The image shows two pie charts indicating spending by teens in Japan and Australia in 2019. For Japan, spending is divided as follows: Video/Computer games 10%, Books 3%, Food 24%, Clothes 9%, Other 54%. For Australia, spending is categorized as follows: Video/Computer games 18%, Books 4%, Food 30%, Clothes 9%, Other 39%.

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The given pie charts illustrate the patterns of youngers in Japan and Australia in 2019

Overall, it is evident that while both nations allocate a significant portion of their budgets to ‘Food’, the distribution of spending across other categories exhibits notable disparities.

In Japan, the largest proportion of teenage expenditure is attributed to ‘Other’ categories, which accounts for a substantial 54%. This is followed by ‘Food’, which constitutes 24% of their overall spending. The sectors of ‘Video/Computer games’, ‘Clothes’, and ‘Books’ receive considerably less attention, standing at 10%, 9%, and 3%, respectively. This pattern suggests that Japanese teenagers prioritize many ranges of expenses over specific categories

Time to time, teenagers in Australia demonstrate a different spending distribution. Here, ‘Food’ represents the largest share at 30%, closely trailed by ‘Video/Computer games’, which occupies 18% of their finances. Similar to Japan, ‘Clothes’ are allocated 9% of the budget, while ‘Books’ account for a marginal share of 4%. However, Australian youth allocate a lesser percentage, 39%, to ‘Other’ expenses compared to their Japanese counterparts

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 4

japan: 3

'food': 3

spending: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and a detailed comparison of the spending patterns in both countries. All key categories from the visual description are included. To improve, ensure that the introduction is more precise (e.g., 'patterns of spending among teenagers' rather than 'patterns of youngers') and avoid speculative conclusions like 'This pattern suggests that...', as Task 1 requires objective reporting of data rather than interpretation of motives.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized, with a clear introduction, a logical overview, and distinct paragraphs for each country. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. To reach a higher band, avoid using slightly awkward transitional phrases like 'Time to time,' which is typically used for frequency rather than to introduce a new comparison. Instead, use comparative cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' or 'Turning to the spending habits in Australia...'

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary to describe proportions, such as 'substantial,' 'constitutes,' 'marginal share,' and 'notable disparities.' However, there are some imprecise word choices. For example, 'patterns of youngers' is incorrect; 'spending patterns of young people' or 'teenagers' would be more natural. Additionally, 'prioritize many ranges of expenses' is somewhat vague. Aim for more precise academic collocations to enhance the sophistication of your lexical choices.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures, utilizing a variety of complex sentences and relative clauses (e.g., 'which accounts for...'). Most sentences are error-free and contribute to the clarity of the report. There are minor issues with noun usage (e.g., 'youngers' instead of 'young people'), but these do not impede communication. Maintaining this level of accuracy while incorporating even more varied sentence structures will help achieve a top score.

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Band 8+: The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.

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The bar chart illustrates the average years of education of male and female

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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