Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts detailing working adults' daily activities in 1958 and 2008. In 1958: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Going out with friends/family 19%, Relaxing at home 8%, Travelling to work 2%, Playing sports 6%. In 2008: Working 42%, Sleeping 25%, Going out with friends/family 6%, Relaxing at home 13%, Travelling to work 8%, Playing sports 8%.

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The circle chart compare how adults spend their time in 1958 and 2008.

Overall, if we look to chart it seems that most people spent most of their working, and sleeping in both time, and however a minority number of people spend their time to do different works like, going with family, travelling with work, relaxing at home.

At the beginning, Most of people spend their time on work, the percentage of working was 33% in 1958 and 42% in 2008, on the other hand, sleeping is second number in both year, 32% in 1958 and 25% in 2008, however, relaxing at home is on 3rd number most adult spend their time for relaxing at home, the proportion of relaxing was 8% in 1958 and 13% in 2008, travelling on work was 2% in 1958 and 7% in 2008.

On the other hand, going with family, was 19% in 1958, and now it is 6% but playing sports is as same, 1958, it remain 7%.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

spend: 4

relaxing: 4

people: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some issues with organization and accuracy. The overview is present but could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs contain relevant information, but the selection and grouping of data could be improved for clarity. There are also some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g. playing sports). To improve, focus on grouping similar trends together and ensuring the data cited is accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, making it difficult to follow the comparison between the two pie charts. Paragraphing is weak, and the overall structure needs improvement to enhance coherence. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a smoother narrative.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is limited use of synonyms or more sophisticated language to describe the data. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to time allocation and comparative analysis. Focus on using more precise language to describe the proportions and changes in the pie charts. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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