Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts detailing working adults' daily activities in 1958 and 2008. In 1958: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Going out with friends/family 19%, Relaxing at home 8%, Travelling to work 2%, Playing sports 6%. In 2008: Working 42%, Sleeping 25%, Going out with friends/family 6%, Relaxing at home 13%, Travelling to work 8%, Playing sports 8%.

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The pie charts illustrates the proportion of time which adults spent for different activities in a particular country in 1958 and half a century later. Overall, Working stood as a dominant category though out the period, whereas travelling to work and going out with friends recorded at the other end of the scales in 1958 and 2008, respectively.

Having started at 33% in 1958, working spent increased noticeably to 42 %, which in turn dwarfed the figure for relaxing at home, whose growth rose slightly to just over one-third in 2008. Meanwhile, travelling to work accounted for a mere fraction of the day at 2%, which was paled in comparison to other categories, before inclining negligibly to 7% at the end of the period.

Regarding other categories, Although sleeping began at almost the same level as working, it experienced a declined to a quarter of the day. Never did sleeping spent rose, nor did the percentage of going out with friends grew over the same period. On the other hand, the figure for playing sports increased minimally to 7% in 2008.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 4

which: 3

spent: 3

working: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but it contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. For example, 'working spent' should be 'time spent working', and 'relaxing at home' is described as 'just over one-third' which is incorrect (it is 13%). The data for travelling to work is given as 7% in 2008, but the correct figure is 8%. The report also omits the exact figure for going out with friends in 2008 (6%). To improve, ensure all data is accurately reported and use clearer, more natural language. Focus on making precise comparisons and avoid vague statements like 'paled in comparison' without specifying the comparison.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing (e.g., 'which in turn dwarfed the figure for relaxing at home' is confusing). The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more effective. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'dominant category', 'accounted for', 'inclining negligibly'). However, there are instances of imprecise or awkward word choices (e.g., 'working spent' instead of 'time spent working', 'paled in comparison' is used incorrectly). To achieve a higher score, aim for more natural and precise collocations, and avoid literal translations. A wider range of less common vocabulary would also enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('charts illustrates'), incorrect verb forms ('did sleeping spent rose', 'the percentage of going out with friends grew'), and awkward sentence structures. While there is some variety in sentence structures, the frequent errors and lack of control prevent the report from being easily understood. To improve, focus on accurate verb tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and constructing clear, error-free sentences. Proofreading is essential.

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