Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts detailing working adults' daily activities in 1958 and 2008. In 1958: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Going out with friends/family 19%, Relaxing at home 8%, Travelling to work 2%, Playing sports 6%. In 2008: Working 42%, Sleeping 25%, Going out with friends/family 6%, Relaxing at home 13%, Travelling to work 8%, Playing sports 8%.

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The two pie charts illustrate the comparison of working adults’ time between 1958 and 2008 spent on different activities in a country.Units are measured in percentages.

Overall, in both years working accounted for over half of the day , while the least was playing sports.There was only a very minimal increase in travelling to work, whereas relaxing at home almost doubled.

It can be clearly seen that , spending time on working comprised by 33% in 1958 and by 2008 , it increased by about 9% to 42% while for relaxing at home , this proportion experienced increase from 8% in 1958 to 13% in 2008.Having witnessed an unexpected decrease in 2008, the percentages of this figure experienced a decline from 32% to 25. Travelling to work increased respectively threefold from 2% to 7%.There was a very minimal change in spending time for playing sports.

Going out with friends and family , on the other hand , was the only one that decreased significantly from 19% to 6% over the 50 years.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the two years. The overall trends are identified, and specific data is included to support the observations. To improve, ensure that the data is completely accurate (e.g., travelling to work increased to 8%, not 7%) and that the language is precise and avoids redundancy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is present but not always effective, leading to some choppiness. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be more strategically employed to group related ideas. Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the sentences could be clearer.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there's room to enhance the sophistication and naturalness of the language. For example, instead of 'very minimal increase,' consider using 'negligible increase.' Also, try to avoid repeating the same words or phrases too frequently. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is generally correct, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracies. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of the writing.

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