Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show how working adults in a particular country spent their time in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts detailing working adults' daily activities in 1958 and 2008. In 1958: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Going out with friends/family 19%, Relaxing at home 8%, Travelling to work 2%, Playing sports 6%. In 2008: Working 42%, Sleeping 25%, Going out with friends/family 6%, Relaxing at home 13%, Travelling to work 8%, Playing sports 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate how working adults in a sepret nation spent their time in 2 diffrent years.

Overall it is evident that the proportion of adults increase decrease in travelling to work and sleeping while there was increase in others.

The figure for adults was 6% in playing sports in1958 while it increase to almost 7% in 2008.

Talking about working the proportion was 33%in 1958 whereas the quantity climb of 9% in 2008.Interms of relaxing at home the amount was 8% in 1958 which rise to 7% in 2008.when it comes to the sleeping the proportion was 32% in 1958 as well as it decrease to 25% in 2008.

To illustrate about travelling to work the quantity was 2% in 1958 along with increase by 5% in 2008.Regarding going out with friends/family the quantity was 19% in 1958 supported by dicline by 6% in 2008.

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

increase: 4

adults: 3

proportion: 3

quantity: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The overview is very general and doesn't highlight the most significant changes. The body paragraphs contain some inaccurate data and the language is not always precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing a clear overview, and using more precise language to describe the changes. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The 'Overall' statement is vague and doesn't effectively summarize the main trends. The subsequent sentences jump between different categories without a clear structure, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between 1958 and 2008. Paragraphing is absent, further hindering coherence. Consider grouping similar data points together and using transition words to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There's an over-reliance on words like 'increase' and 'proportion.' The use of 'sepret nation' and 'diffrent years' indicates a need for improved spelling and word choice. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe the changes and differences between the two years. For example, instead of 'increase,' consider using 'rose,' 'grew,' or 'expanded.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('increase decrease'), subject-verb agreement issues ('quantity climb'), and misuse of prepositions ('in others,' 'Interms of'). Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. There are also spelling errors ('sepret,' 'diffrent,' 'dicline'). Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

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