Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Australia in 2010 and 2015.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing the percentages of various categories for the years 2015 and 2010. In 2015: Electric & Appliance 33%, Food & Beverage 22%, Home Furnishings 19%, Video Games 8%, Gift Items 11%, Books 7%. In 2010: Electric & Appliance 27%, Food & Beverage 21%, Home Furnishings 22%, Video Games 19%, Gift Items 7%, Books 4%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart provides key information about virtual shop sales for different departments in Australia within five years . The units are measured in percentage .

Overall, it is clear from the graph that there is an increased in sales of the Electronic and Appliance sector between the year 2010, where it was only 27%, whereas in the year 2015 there is a significant jump to 33%. In addition, the items Video Games dropped in 2015 to represent just 8% of the total. The purchases of Books slightly raised during these five years.

According to what is shown, the online sales of Food and Beverages did not have a major change between 2010 and 2015. Moreover , the Gift items percentage mesures slowly grew to 11% in 2015.

In terms of the Home Furnishings department, records shows a slight decline in the year 2015 at 19% of the total percentage.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons. The overview is clear, and the body paragraphs discuss key trends and changes in online shopping sales across different sectors. To improve, ensure that all significant data points are covered and that the analysis is comprehensive. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for enhanced clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall structure. However, transitions between some sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively. For example, in the second paragraph, you could link the discussion of 'Video Games' to the previous point about 'Electronic and Appliance' sales with a phrase like 'Conversely' or 'In contrast'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the trends and changes. For instance, instead of 'increased in sales,' you could use 'experienced a growth in sales' or 'saw an increase in sales'. Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to sales and market trends. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there is an increased' should be 'there was an increase' or 'sales increased'). Also, review your use of articles (e.g., 'the Electronic and Appliance sector' could be improved). Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will enhance the accuracy of your writing.

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