Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. In 2003, travel had the largest share at 36%, followed by film/music at 24%, books at 21%, and clothes at 19%. In 2013, the percentages shifted with clothes taking the lead at 33%, travel at 29%, film/music at 22%, and books at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the sales for e-shopping for travel, music, books and clothing sectors in two years, 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

Overall, the production of books and films show an increase in their sale proportion whereas the travel and cloth industry dropped their share of value in the year 2013 as compared to 2003.

In 2003, the tourism sector had the highest proportion of 36%, followed by textile industry having 24% sales. Moreover, the entertainment industry (film and music) accounted for 21% of the total sales leaving books with the lowest share of 19%.

Over a decade later, the entertainment industry flourished with 33% of the sales. In contrast, the clothing industry sales dropped to around 16%. Furthermore, the travel industry accounted for 29% of sales and then books with least proportion of 22%.

Word Count: 137

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

industry: 6

books: 4

travel: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5.5

The report provides a good overview of the main features of the data, but there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states that the entertainment industry flourished with 33% of the sales in 2013, but the chart shows that clothes had the highest share at 33%. The report also does not mention the specific percentage for books in 2013. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. For example, the report jumps back and forth between 2003 and 2013, making it difficult to follow the progression of the data. The report also uses some awkward phrasing, such as "the production of books and films show an increase in their sale proportion."

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of imprecise or inappropriate word choice. For example, the report uses the word "flourished" to describe the entertainment industry, which is not an accurate description of the data. The report also uses the phrase "share of value" which is not a common phrase in this context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors, which affect the overall clarity and fluency. For example, the report uses incorrect verb tenses, such as "show an increase" instead of "showed an increase." The report also uses incorrect prepositions, such as "in contrast" instead of "in comparison to."

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