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Band 7+: The pie charts below show the result of a survey of children's activities

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The image shows two pie charts. The first pie chart displays boys' cultural and leisure activities: Basketball 26%, Soccer 17%, Reading 2%, Computer Games 34%, Skateboarding 11%, Listening to Music 10%. The second pie chart details girls' cultural and leisure activities: Dancing 27%, Gymnastics 11%, Reading 21%, Computer Games 16%, Netball 15%, Listening to Music 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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An outcome of children’s activities survey was illustrated by two pie charts, where one shows boys and the other depicts girls participation in cultural and leisure activities.

Overall, it is apparent that the highest proportion of girls were interested in reading, while the fewest boys preferred this activity. Additionally, music is the only activity, where both boys and girls participated with equal numbers.

Among boys, computer games dominate at 34%, followed by basket ball at 26%, by contrast girls engaged by 16%. A significant difference observed in the participation of reading, where girls accounted for 21% and boys only 2%, and remained the least preferred activity for them. The same proportion of boys and girls engaged in music.

The second preferred activity for boys is basketball, which recorded as 26%, while skateboarding dominate at 11% and soccer 17% respectively. The most engaging activity for girls is dance (27%), whereas the gymnastics stood at 11%. In addition, 15% of the girls enrolled in netball.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 8

activity: 5

where: 3

preferred: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the information presented in the pie charts, highlighting key trends and differences between boys' and girls' activities. The overview is clear and the main features are well-described. To improve, consider using more varied language and sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of the report. Also, ensure that all significant data points are mentioned, even if briefly, to provide a more comprehensive overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow could be improved in certain areas. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels a bit abrupt. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear topic to maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'participated,' consider synonyms like 'engaged in,' 'took part in,' or 'were involved in.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to leisure activities and survey results.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are a few grammatical errors and phrasing issues that need attention. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate article usage. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these errors.

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