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Band 5+: The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays three pie charts detailing vehicle market share for April in three different years. In 1994 April, with a total of 42,900, the breakdown was Sedans 74%, Others 19%, and SUVs 7%. In 2004 April, with a total of 71,000, the breakdown was Sedans 62%, Others 21%, and SUVs 17%. In 2013 April, with a total of 85,000, the breakdown was Sedans 51%, Others 32%, and SUVs 17%.

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The given pie charts illustrate the proportions of new car sales in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013.

Overall, the data show an upward trend over the period except for Sedans, despite some fluctuations. It is also noticeable that Sedans consistently recorded the highest figure, whereas SUVs remained the lowest throughout.

Focusing first on the figure for SUVs , which was the lowest value at 1994 April. Meanwhile, Sedans recorded the highest value in similar year at 74% that marking the most pronounced difference among all categories. The number of Others’s new car sales rcontributed only 19%, which gained second rank in this chart. In addition, the total in 1994 April still remained lowest. In addition, the figure for Others in 1994 and in 2004 recorded 19% and 21%, respectively, with the former being broadly on a par with latter

Regarding the figures for 2004 April and 2013 April. First of all, Others in 2004 witnessed prolonged fall, finishing at 32% in 2013. Especially, both SUVs in the year continously had a similar pattern that made up 17% of the total. Additionally, SUVs also showed minimal variation. Moreover, Sedans followed closely at 62% in 2004, though still lower than Sedans in 1994. Finally, the total in 2013 was two times as high as that of the total i 1994, which stood at just 42,900.

Word Count: 224

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sedans: 5

april: 4

total: 4

recorded: 3

figure: 3

lowest: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and identifies key trends, such as the dominance of sedans and the growth in total sales. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency that affect the clarity of the report. For instance, the report claims 'Others' witnessed a 'prolonged fall' when the data actually shows an increase from 21% to 32%. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or grammatically incomplete (e.g., 'Focusing first on the figure for SUVs , which was the lowest value at 1994 April.'). To improve, ensure that all descriptions of trends (increases vs. decreases) accurately reflect the numbers provided, and focus on connecting ideas using cohesive devices to avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat problematic due to several sentence fragments and repetitive cohesive devices. For instance, the paragraph starting with 'Focusing first on...' is a fragment rather than a complete sentence, which disrupts the flow of information. Additionally, the frequent use of 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Additionally' feels mechanical and repetitive. To improve, try to use more varied transition signals and ensure that every sentence contains a subject and a verb to maintain logical progression.

Lexical Resource

While there is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'witnessed', 'pronounced difference', 'on a par with'), there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. For example, 'the number of Others's new car sales rcontributed only 19%' and 'gained second rank' are not natural expressions in academic English. There are also spelling errors like 'rcontributed'. Focus on learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'accounted for' instead of 'contributed') to make the report sound more professional. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical accuracy is a significant issue in this report. There are multiple sentence fragments (e.g., 'Regarding the figures for 2004 April and 2013 April.') and errors in tense and structure (e.g., 'that marking', 'the total i 1994'). There is also confusion in the logic of the sentences, such as stating 'Others in 2004 witnessed prolonged fall, finishing at 32% in 2013', which is grammatically awkward. Work on sentence structure, specifically ensuring that complex sentences are fully formed and that prepositions and articles are used correctly.

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Band 5+: The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1994, 2004, and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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