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Band 5+: The plants below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise

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Image for topic: The plants below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise

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The image shows two layouts. The first layout, "Grand Park (1920)" includes a rose garden near the top left, four seating areas distributed across the park, a stage for musicians centrally near the left, a fountain centrally located, a glasshouse on the right, and a pond for water plants near the top center. Entrances are located at the top, center, and bottom of the map along Eldon Street. The second layout, "Grange Park (today)," features a rose garden at the top left, two seating areas, an amphitheater for concerts near the left, no fountain or glasshouse, a new cafe on the right, a children's play area on the top right, and a water feature near the bottom right. There is also an underground car park entrance at the bottom right. Entrances remain at the top, center, and bottom along Eldon Street.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The layouts illustrate the Grange park arrangment in 1970 and the present view of the Grange park after the major development.

Overall, the park has been developed significantly with many facilities and services but there has been no new land ajoined to the park. It is noticeable that, the both main entrances of Arnold avenue and Eldon streer remained unchanged over the period. However, the park fountain has been replaced to rose garden at present.

The Grange park main attraction was central fountain in 1970, but it has been changed to rose garden at presently. Further, there was three rose gardens in the early park and it has been reduced into two and it has been located in the central of the park and South-West corner. In addition to that, stage for musicians has been converted into advanced amphitheatre for concerts with many facilities. Besides, new cafe has been build in the present park and it brings many services to the visitors. Meanwhile, pond for the water plants has been changed into children’s play area. Furthermore, new underground car park has been build in the present park. Finaly seating facilities has been extended significant in the present

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

present: 4

grange: 3

facilities: 3

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Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by describing the changes to Grange Park from 1920 to the present day. The overview is acceptable, and the main changes are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report mentions the park arrangement in 1970 instead of 1920. Also, the description of the rose garden changes is not entirely accurate. To improve, ensure that all dates and details are accurate and that all significant changes are mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs lack a strong structure, making it difficult to follow the changes in a logical manner. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance the flow of information. For example, using more specific transition words to indicate addition, contrast, or consequence would help. Paragraphing could be improved by grouping information more thematically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. While the report conveys the main points, it lacks the precision and sophistication expected at higher band levels. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('arrangment' instead of 'arrangement', 'adjoined' instead of 'added'). To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary related to park features, changes, and developments. Synonyms and paraphrasing should be used more effectively to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency (mixing past and present tenses), subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'The layouts illustrate the Grange park arrangment in 1970' should be 'The layouts illustrate the Grange Park arrangement in 1920'. Also, 'Finaly seating facilities has been extended significant in the present' has multiple errors. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully for errors. Varying sentence structure would also enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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