Process Diagram

Band 7+: The process shows diamonds moving from the mine to the retailer

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The image shows a flowchart detailing the processing of rough diamonds. The process starts with "Rough diamonds mined", leading to "Sorted" which splits into two streams: "Low grade" and "High grade". Low-grade diamonds proceed to "Industrial uses", where they are "Cut and shaped", "Tested for hardness", and "Priced" before being "Sent to retailers". High-grade diamonds continue to "Cosmetic uses", undergo "Polished", and then "Given a rating". Post-rating, the diamonds are either "Cut by hand" or "Cut by machine", both leading to being "Analysed by computer for best cut" and finally rejoining the flow as "Priced" sent to retailers. The flowchart contains no numerical data points or percentages.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given diagram illustrates the process of diamonds transporting from mines to retailers.

Overall, diamonds pass through about ten steps before they are send to retailers, the number verifying based on their sortage.

In the first stage, after rough diamonds are mined they are sorted based on their grade. Compared to lower grade, high grade diamonds go through more complex processes; for they are used in cosmetics. Following that, diamonds are analysed by computers for the best possible cut, either by machinery or hand. As for the final steps, they are polished, given a rating and shipped to retailers.

As for the diamonds who don’t make it to high grade, they are placed in industrial use. Unlike the high grade diamonds, their cutting process comes way earlier, just before they are tested for hardness. Having been tested, they’re simply priced and sent to retailers, in the same way as high value diamonds.

Consequently, the separation process of rough diamonds consists of many steps, which differs for both values of diamond.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

diamonds: 8

grade: 5

process: 3

steps: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by describing the main stages of the diamond processing flowchart. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each grade. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the overview mentions 'about ten steps' which is not precise, and the description of the high-grade path incorrectly states that polishing and rating occur after computer analysis, whereas the flowchart shows these steps before cutting. Additionally, the report omits the 'Cut and shaped' step for low-grade diamonds and misplaces the 'Polished' and 'Given a rating' steps for high-grade diamonds. The language is generally appropriate, but minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'are send') and informal phrasing (e.g., 'who don't make it') could be improved. To enhance the response, ensure the sequence of steps is accurately followed and avoid vague numerical references.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and the message can be followed. The use of cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In the first stage', 'Following that', and 'As for' helps guide the reader. However, there are some lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition from the high-grade to low-grade diamonds in the third paragraph. The paragraphing could be more skilfully managed to improve the flow. Consider using clearer topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a distinct stage or aspect of the process.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. Words like 'illustrates', 'sortage', 'cosmetics', and 'analysed' show some range. However, there are instances of less natural phrasing, such as 'diamonds transporting' and 'the number verifying based on their sortage'. The term 'sortage' is not standard; 'sorting' or 'grade' would be more accurate. To improve, aim for more precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid using words that may not be commonly accepted in this context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'diamonds transporting' should be 'diamonds being transported' or 'the transport of diamonds', and 'they are send' should be 'they are sent'. The phrase 'the number verifying based on their sortage' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is mostly correct, but the overall accuracy needs improvement. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and clearer sentence construction.

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