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Band 5+: The table below describes the proportion of smokers in males and females (between the age of 15 and 20) in Britain. v.2

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The image provides a table showing the proportion of smokers among males and females aged 15 to 20 in Britain from 1970 to 2000 at 5-year intervals. For males: 1970-10%, 1975-22%, 1980-35%, 1985-37%, 1990-36%, 1995-30%, 2000-28%. For females: 1970-5%, 1975-13%, 1980-22%, 1985-34%, 1990-37%, 1995-32%, 2000-27%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates amount of the smokers in men and woman (aged from 15 and 20) over 30 different years 1970 and 2000 in Britain.

Overall, we can see increasing popularity of smoking among the teenagers. All two genders experiensed dramatically rise. The females had a maximal point of the table. The male showed a lowest point in gaven period.

The part of males smokers grew significantly for 15 years since 1970 to 1985. The amount of males smokers in 1970 was 10 percent of all males population while approximately 37 percent was in 1985. In the beginning, nubmer of smokers increased sharply but after 1985 expirienced insignificant decreases. The nubmer of smokers decline from 36 percent from 1990 to 28 percent in 2000.

The same data demonstrated females group of smokers. We can see sharply increase from 1970 to 1985. If in 1970 there were 2 percent of women who smoked, then by 1985 there were 34 percent. The women reached a peack in 1990, outpacing men by 1 percent. The females group of smokers saw slowly decline since 1990 to 2000.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smokers: 7

percent: 7

females: 3

males: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key trends in the data. The description of the data is generally accurate, although there are some minor inaccuracies (e.g., the percentage of women smokers in 1970). To improve, ensure greater accuracy in data reporting and consider a more sophisticated analysis, perhaps comparing rates of change between genders or discussing potential reasons for the observed trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The overall structure is present, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs, but transitions between sentences and ideas within paragraphs need strengthening. For example, the connection between the overview and the subsequent detailed paragraphs could be clearer. Consider using transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information and create a more cohesive narrative.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice ('amount' instead of 'proportion,' 'gaven' instead of 'given,' 'peack' instead of 'peak'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more precise language would enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Consider using synonyms and a wider variety of descriptive words to make the report more engaging and informative. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('experiensed,' 'was' instead of 'were'), subject-verb agreement issues ('females had'), and incorrect word forms ('nubmer' instead of 'number'). These errors affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully to identify and correct errors. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement to enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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