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Band 5+: The table below describes the proportion of smokers in males and females (between the age of 15 and 20) in Britain. v.2

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The image provides a table showing the proportion of smokers among males and females aged 15 to 20 in Britain from 1970 to 2000 at 5-year intervals. For males: 1970-10%, 1975-22%, 1980-35%, 1985-37%, 1990-36%, 1995-30%, 2000-28%. For females: 1970-5%, 1975-13%, 1980-22%, 1985-34%, 1990-37%, 1995-32%, 2000-27%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table below shows the average percentage of male and female smokers in different years.

Overall, men smoked more than women throughout the whole period of time. From 1970 to 1985, a big leap happened in analysis of male smokers. It started with 10 percents, changing to 35 in just 15 years. If we brag about women, the percentage started with 5 and ended with 34. To compare, the number of male smokers started to decrease every 5 years while female smokers percentage increased. The table below clearly states that the numbers commenced to lower down. Also, in 1990 the count of women smokers grow to 3%. But In 2000, the results of this research became plus-minus equal.

Despite fluctuations, men remained the dominant group of smokers throughout the period. But by the end of the period, the gap between male and female smokers had narrowed significantly for around of 30-40%

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smokers: 7

percentage: 3

female: 3

women: 3

period: 3

started: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of specific data points. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on providing more specific data from the table, ensuring accuracy, and organizing the information in a clearer, more logical manner. Also, avoid informal language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents an overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult to follow the comparisons and changes over time. Paragraphing could be used more effectively to group related ideas and improve coherence. For example, the initial overview could be separated from the detailed analysis of specific years. Transition words could also be used to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not entirely appropriate or precise ('brag about women,' 'plus-minus equal'). There is room to enhance the vocabulary by using more specific and varied language to describe the trends and data. For instance, instead of 'a big leap,' consider using 'a significant increase' or 'a rapid rise.' Also, avoid informal expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is sometimes awkward, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, '10 percents' should be '10 percent,' and 'the count of women smokers grow to 3%' should be 'the count of women smokers grew by 3%'. Proofreading and careful attention to grammar rules are needed to improve accuracy.

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