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Band 6+: The table below shows the percentage of men and women who travelled to,work by different means of transport in Sydney in 2001. Summarise, the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage of men and women who travelled to,work by different means of transport in Sydney in 2001. Summarise, the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image details a table showing the percentage of men and women who traveled to work by various means of transport in Sydney in 2001: Men used buses 32%, cars 28%, motorbikes 5%, bikes 18%, and went on foot 17%, while women used buses 38%, cars 27%, motorbikes 2%, bikes 16%, and went on foot 17%.

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The table illustrates what percentage of males and females traveled to their work using five different types of transport in 2001 Sydney

In general, traveling by coaches was the superior option for both genders, whereas the opposite seems to be true for motor bike. It is also worth noting that women drove cars almost as frequent as men.

Using buses was the most popular choice among men, at 32 percent, while that of car accounted for 28 percent. In comparison, in 2001 the percentage of women opt for busses was for 6 percent higher than men. Additionally, the figure for women’s car usage accounted for a solid 27 percent.

Regarding the remaining options, only 5 percent of men went to their job by motor bike. Admittedly, that percentage of men using bike and going on foot to the workplace accounted for 18 and 17 percent, respectively. In comparison, women’s indicator for motor bike accounted for even less than men’s, at only 2 percent. Meanwhile, they chose bike as method of transportation 8 times more. In addition, 17 percent of them decided to go on their foot to a workplace.

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 7

accounted: 4

percentage: 3

their: 3

motor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the table and provides a clear overview of the trends. Comparisons between men and women are made throughout the text, which is essential for this task. However, there is a significant mathematical error in the final paragraph where it is stated that women chose bikes '8 times more' than men; based on the data (16% vs 18%), this is incorrect and contradicts the actual figures. To improve, ensure that all comparative language is mathematically accurate and double-check that the relationships described between data points are logically sound.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing. For instance, the transition 'Admittedly' is used incorrectly; 'admittedly' is used to concede a point, whereas here you are simply presenting more data. To improve, use more appropriate cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In terms of', or 'Regarding' to link your observations more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

You attempt to use a variety of vocabulary (e.g., 'superior option', 'accounted for', 'indicator'), which is good. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'traveling by coaches was the superior option' sounds unnatural in a statistical report; 'most common mode of transport' would be better. Additionally, 'women drove cars almost as frequent as men' should use the adverb 'frequently'. Try to focus on using precise academic collocations when describing data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, such as 'the percentage of women opt for busses was for 6 percent higher' and 'they chose bike as method of transportation 8 times more' (which is mathematically confusing and grammatically incomplete). There are also errors in preposition usage, such as 'go on their foot' instead of 'on foot'. To improve, practice complex sentence structures and ensure that your comparative forms (e.g., 'more than', 'higher than') are used accurately.

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