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Band 7+: The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows a table comparing department and online stores in four categories: number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth; department stores have 67 businesses, 807 million AUD profit, 12,700 million AUD sales revenue, and 0.4% growth, while online stores have 368 businesses, 863 million AUD profit, 13,400 million AUD sales revenue, and 0.6% growth.

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The given table illustrates data regarding online retailing centres and department stores in Australiain the year 2011.

In an overall perspective, it is clear that online shopping was always on the lead in that year, with the most noticeable difference in the number of businesses, however, the profit, revenue, and growth were having minor discrimination.

The total businesses running via departments were only 67 as compared to 368 digital platforms for trade at that time. Meanwhile, profit to the concrete stores was almost similar to e-commerce, with 807 Australian dollars benefit to the prior and 863 dollars to the latter.

In terms of Sales revenue, online stores has a lead of 700 AUD over the department shops, reaching 13,400 as compared to 12,700. Moreover, the growth of electronic commerce was 0.6% while that of department stores was 0.4%, only a change of 0.2%.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stores: 4

online: 3

department: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the information, highlighting key features and making relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with a good overview and detailed paragraphs. The report could benefit from more precise language and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and sophistication. For example, instead of 'minor discrimination,' a more specific term could be used. Also, ensure consistent use of units (e.g., 'million AUD' throughout). While the report is strong, refining these aspects could elevate it further. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an overview and specific details. However, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. For instance, consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more explicitly. While the information is presented logically, refining the paragraphing could further improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'profit' or 'revenue,' consider synonyms or more descriptive terms where appropriate. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, enhancing the sophistication of word choice could elevate the report's overall quality.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Sentence structures are generally varied and accurate. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositional phrases to further refine grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully can help catch these subtle errors.

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