Multiple Graphs

Band 6+: the two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the uk and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the british prison system. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: the two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the uk and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the british prison system. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two data charts: a pie chart displaying the gender of prison inmates in the UK, with males at 96% and females at 4%, and a line graph detailing criminal convictions in the UK by age and gender, with male and female percentage lines peaking at ages 20-25 and 15-20 respectively, and steadily declining with age, males consistently higher than females.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The data illustrates the contributionse of British male and female prisoner inmates and the rate of criminal convictions separated by genders and ages.

It can be clearly seen that the figure of male is significantly outnumbered that of both female prisoners and the rate of criminal convictions. Moreover, the age of 20 years old is the age where british people conducted the highest rate of crime in both genders.

In terms of the prison inmates, male prisoners occupied 96% of the which is 24 times higher than that of female. For criminal convictions, the percentage of men convicting crime started at 2% at 10 years old, rising up considerably and peaked to 16% at the age of 20 years old. After that, the rate dropped gradually to 2% at 60 years. This trend also appearred in the females crime rate. Starting at 0%

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 4

female: 3

criminal: 3

convictions: 3

crime: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but includes some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the female crime rate starts at approximately 0.4%, not 0%. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately represented and avoid minor inaccuracies. Also, the report could benefit from a more structured approach, such as grouping information by chart type or focusing on overall trends before detailing specific data points. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the main features of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping information more thematically, such as dedicating separate paragraphs to prison inmates and criminal convictions. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could also be smoother to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'rate,' explore synonyms like 'proportion,' 'percentage,' or 'incidence.' Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add detail and nuance to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage ('the,' 'a,' 'an'). For example, 'the figure of male is significantly outnumbered that of both female prisoners' needs correction. Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will improve accuracy.

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